The Ghost of You
by xXxThe Phantom's RosexXx
Summary: "This cannot be happening. I cannot be standing here talking to a ghost!" "Oh, but you are – and might I add, a very sexy ghost indeed."
1. Chapter One

**Author's Note: Don't hate me for this, but this idea came to me while driving around today, and I knew I had to write it down. I do not own Degrassi, but would gladly accept Eli as a Christmas present! Also, Chapter One's title is a play on the AAR song, "One More Sad Song" **

**Tagline: "This cannot be happening. I cannot be standing here talking to a ghost!" "Oh, but you are – and might I add, a very sexy ghost indeed." **

The Ghost of You

_Chapter One: Tears Shed, He's Gone_

Clare Diane Edwards stared down at the newspaper in her hand. Her jaw fell lax as she saw the picture printed in the obituaries section. She hardly ever paid attention to the obituaries. She was too young to know anyone that could possibly die. The obituaries section was always filled with pictures of old people, or old people when they were younger. But today had been different. Today, she decided to take a look. As she flipped to the back page of the Local section, she saw his picture.

It was the typical black and white newsprint picture – the ink was a bit blurry, as if someone didn't take the time to make sure that it had been scanned neatly. He was wearing what appeared to be a black t-shirt with a jacket and that clunky silver guitar-pick necklace. There was that I've-got-a-secret-but-you're-a-moron-if-you-think-I'm-sharing-it-with-you smirk plastered on his face.

Clare's jaw dropped as her eyes quickly descended to the text written beneath the picture:

_Elijah Thomas Goldsworthy – February 21, 1994 – June 17, 2023. Elijah is survived by his father, Liam Goldsworthy (known also as Bullfrog Goldsworthy) and his mother, Cecelia Goldsworthy. Elijah was a teacher of English Language Arts and Theatrical Performance Arts at Degrassi High School. He also volunteered at the Degrassi Community Theater on Lakeshore. Eli was a dear son, and will be missed terribly. There will be a memorial service on Friday June 20, 2013. Please contact the Goldsworthy family for more information. _

_No_, Clare quickly folded the newspaper shut and slid it across the table. There must have been some sort of mistake. Eli…Eli couldn't possibly be dead. Clare shook her head, knowing that it might have been some sort of crazed joke. Fitz was out of jail after serving time for arson (apparently after everything that had happened at Degrassi, he had started to enjoy lighting things on fire), maybe he had put the obituary in the paper as some form of sick joke. That's all this was. Some sort of sick joke.

"Hey, beautiful," her fiancé, James appeared in the dining room all dressed for work. He was adjusting his tie as he leaned over Clare's chair to kiss her. When she turned away, he realized something was wrong, "Clare…what's the matter, honey?"

"Uh…I think there's some sort of mistake with the paper."

"Why do you say that?" James reached over and grabbed the section of the paper Clare had been looking at.

"The…uh…the obituaries."

"Someone died?"

"I-I think it's probably just some sort of cruel joke, you know. I mean…there's just no way…"

"Clare, who was this person?" James asked, looking at the faded black and white photos.

"Just a kid I used to know," Clare took the paper from his hands and placed it back on the table, "We uh…we used to go to school together. It's just weird. I mean…he can't be…"

"Clare, maybe you should try contacting his family, just to make sure. I'm really sorry, but usually papers don't make these kinds of mistakes, Clare. Look, I'm running late for work," James grabbed his brief case off the table, "so I should probably get going, but call me when you find out more, alright?" He kissed Clare on top of the head and headed out the front door.

"Bye," Clare called after him, the sound of the door slamming shut her only reply. Maybe he was right. Maybe she should call the family to see if there was some sort of mistake. But how would she even go about doing so? She hadn't spoken to Bullfrog or Cece in years. Maybe she could just remain anonymous. That's it. She wouldn't tell them who she was, she would just call and…inquire. Clare grabbed her cellphone from the kitchen and looked up the Goldsworthy's phone number in the phone book.

On the third ring, a woman answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, um…hi. I am just calling to uh…inquire about a…uh…an obituary I saw in the paper today…"

"Yes?"

"Was there some sort of mistake?"

"I am afraid I don't know what you mean?"

"Is he…is he really dead?"

There was an intake of breath, and Clare wanted to run and hug her, "Who is this?"

"Uh…I just…I want to know."

"Clare?"

A violent rush of blood flooded and pooled to Clare's cheeks, "Cece?"

"Oh baby girl," the woman let out a soft sob, "I…I am afraid there hasn't been any mistake. The obituary in the paper was correct. Eli…Eli died last night."

"No…no, that can't…that can't be right, Cece. Cece, that _can't_ be right."

"Clare…I am afraid it's true. Last night…Eli…well…Eli…he was in a car crash."

"_No_."

"He had been…uh…well…Clare, he had a problem. He drank a lot. He kept it pretty under-wraps, but last night…I guess he had too much to drink…he was driving and swerved onto to…onto on-coming traffic. No one else was hurt…but him. He…he died instantly."

"Oh my god," Clare realized then that tears were pouring from her eyes as if a tap had been turned on, "Cece…"

"Clare, I am so sorry. I know that you loved him very much. Would you like to come to the memorial service on Saturday? We would love to have you there."

"I-I don't know," Clare's brow furrowed and she angrily wiped at the tears on her cheeks, "I don't know if I should…I mean…I just…"

"I understand, baby-doll. Look, I have to go; we have family in town, but you are welcome to call anytime. Maybe once you feel more um…up to it, you can stop by. I can fix us some tea and we could just…"

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

After saying goodbye, Clare hung up her phone and retreated back to dining room. She couldn't believe that it had been true. Eli Goldsworthy was dead. She felt like something had shifted; like the world had somehow drastically been changed. It had changed – Eli was no longer in it. Clare glanced up at the window and saw two mocking jays sitting on the porch table. They were singing something obnoxious and squawking, but it was just like every other day. The birds didn't feel any difference. Didn't they know? If they only knew, they wouldn't be singing such an obnoxiously joyful tune. Didn't they know that Eli had been taken?

Clare dabbed at her eyes just as her phone began to ring. She looked at the number, puzzled. It took her a moment to remember what to do in order to answer a ringing phone, and said, "Hello."

"Clare? Is this Clare Edwards?"

"Yeah…who is this?"

"Are you okay?"

"Who is this?" Clare repeated, growing annoyed.

"Sorry…this is Adam. Adam…Tor…"

"I remember you Adam," Clare rolled her eyes, only causing more tears to spill out, "Are you okay?"

"No. I just…I knew I had to call you. I guess you saw the papers this morning."

"Yeah," Clare winced, "I did. Adam, were you and Eli still…"

"Yeah. We hung out almost every night. I would come over to distract him with Ninja Warrior Wrestling so he wouldn't drink. I just…I was busy last night. I was with this girl and…well…"

"Adam, it's not your fault. It's not your fault Eli drank."

"I know. Everyone's been telling me that, but…I just can't help but feel like it is. Are you going to the memorial service?"

"No…I don't think it'd be appropriate. I don't know."

"I get it. I'll be there, and I'll miss you, but I get it. Uh…call me sometime, okay?"

"Okay. Adam…you can call me sometime too, alright?"

"Alright. Just…you know…if you want to talk."

"Thanks, Adam. I really appreciate that. Maybe sometime soon we can uh…do dinner or something. I'd…I'd love to see you again."

They said their goodbyes, and Clare put the phone down. She didn't feel like talking to anyone else. Eli was dead, and already she had spoken to two ghosts. She hadn't even seen Cece or Adam in ages; much less spoken to them. Of course, they crossed her mind almost every day.

Clare's heart ached for them. They had lost someone so special…they all had. Eli was gone, and Clare didn't exactly know what to do with herself. She was crying, so she must have felt sad. But there was an overwhelming sense of numbness about her. It was as if someone had pressed pause, and she was the only one still moving about. She felt as though she had to tell herself what to do.

_Dishes. I need to do the dishes. Take dishes off of table. Take dishes to kitchen. Run hot water in tap. Soap up dishes. Scrub dishes with sponge. Rinse dishes in hot water. Place dishes in washer. Repeat. _

It was as if her brain didn't want to function properly. It was as if the only thing it was telling her was: _Eli is dead. Eli is dead. Eli is dead. Eli is dead. Eli is dead._

She pushed herself up from the dining room table and grabbed the dishes from the table. As she headed to the kitchen, she walked herself through the steps of what to do. Why couldn't she just function? Because Eli was dead. Eli was dead. Eli was dead.

_Shut up!_ Clare yelled at her brain. She refused to sit there and listen to the broken record repeat itself. She had to do the dishes. She had to wash the dishes. The food would harden if she didn't do the dishes. As Clare neared the sink, a plate slipped from her hands and crashed to the floor. She let out a gasp as the porcelain scattered across the tiling.

_Damn it_, Clare stood there and surveyed the mess. She knew she had to clean it up before she, or Midas stepped on it. But she just couldn't. Instead, she sunk down to the floor, leaned up against one of the wooden cabinets, and cried.

Midas, as if curious to see who had dared interrupt his sleep by throwing plates, stumbled into the kitchen. We he saw Clare, he loped over to her, and placed his chin on her knee. Clare looked up at the dog, and scratched behind his ears.

"Midas, Eli is dead. Eli is dead."

Midas wheezed. Clare sighed, "And you don't care. Why should you? You never met him. So why should you, or those blasted mocking jays even care if he's dead or alive?"

Midas sneezed. Clare kissed him on top of the head, "Well, if you had known him, things would be different. If you had known him, you'd be crying too."

When James got home from work, he found Clare still sitting on the kitchen floor, and Midas with his head in her lap. He dropped his brief case and ran over to her.

"Clare…Clare…honey! Are you alright?"

"He's dead, James."

"Oh Clare, I knew he was. Papers don't just screw up that sort of thing. Have you…have you been sitting here all day? And why…is that…why is there a broken plate all over the floor?"

"I dropped it," Clare's voice was monotone, "I dropped the plate, James."

"It's okay, Clare. It's just a plate. We have twelve others. It's fine. Come on, let's get you off the floor. What do you want to make us for dinner?"

"Dinner? Eli is dead and you're thinking about your dinner?"

"Clare, people die. It's just how life works. I am sorry your friend died, I really am. But you haven't even mentioned him to me before. Obviously he wasn't that big of a deal to you…"

"Don't say that," Clare's voice cracked, and more tears swelled in her eyes.

"Well, I mean…if he was important to you, don't you think I would have heard more about him? Who was he, Clare?"

"A boy."

"Oh," James raised an eyebrow, "A boy, huh? Well that is specific. Come on, let's get you to the couch. I can order us takeout if you aren't up for cooking. Is Chinese good with you?"

**Author's Note: Don't hate me for this. And don't worry. You'll like what I have in-store for this! It'll be humorous, I promise. So stick in there with me. This was just a rough chapter, but the next chapters, I think you all will greatly enjoy! So hang in there, please.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for clicking on this chapter and giving it another chance after I killed off Eli in Chapter One. Don't worry though, I promise you'll like this story. Thanks again for reading. I swear, you guys are the best! Like, when I started fanfiction, I never imagined it'd mean so much to me. I thought it'd be just a hobby. However, I have made some amazing friends, and all of you are so dear to me. Also, I have grown as a writer, and I just am so appreciative. Thank you guys!**

_Chapter Two: Seeing You, Not Believing You_

Clare poured herself a glass of wine and sat down at the kitchen table. It was getting late, and she knew she should fix something for dinner. However, she just couldn't bring herself to do so. Everyday tasks seemed useless now. Why should she make dinner when Eli would never eat dinner again? She knew it probably wasn't logical to think that way, but she couldn't help it. It was as if the whole world had been altered, and Clare didn't want to participate in it anymore.

"How many have you had?" James asked, and Clare looked up from the glass to see her fiance standing in the kitchen, "Clare, I don't like this one bit."

"This is my first glass, if you _must_ know," she tartly clipped each word, "And I am perfectly fine."

"You're not perfectly fine," James pulled out a chair and sat down next to her, "You've been moping around since you saw that obituary in the paper, and I am really worried about you. Clare, this isn't healthy. Is there something you aren't telling me about this guy? Is there something I should know? I just…I want to help you get through this, but I don't really know how to since you aren't giving me a whole lot to go on."

Clare glanced down into the ruby-colored liquid in her glass. A small, sad smile crossed her lips; but she said, "Oh, you know…he was just this kid. A kid I…I sometimes worked with for English class. He…he was just this kid. You know, you see him every day in class and in the hallways and you say hi and everything…and then after graduation…you just stop, and you don't see him anymore after that. Then you move on with your life, and he doesn't cross your mind…and then you find out one day…a day like any other day…that he is dead. It's just…it hasn't quite settled in yet."

James grabbed hold of her hand, and gave it a small squeeze as he said, "It's okay, Clare. Everyone grieves differently. We had a kid in our high school who was killed in a boating accident one spring break. It was so sad, and so tragic. I didn't know him – lots of us didn't – but we were all so shaken up by it. They had to bring in extra counselors for us."

"I just…I can't believe he's dead. There was so much he wanted to do in life. He loved plays. He wrote so many school plays and drama projects. He wanted to write a play and have it be on Broadway one day. He wanted to win a Tony. There was so much he wanted. And now he'll never have."

"Do you want me to order in dinner?" James offered, "That way you don't have to cook anything. You can have today and tomorrow to reflect and everything, but after that, I want you to start getting out again. It's no good to be cooped up in here all day and all night. You need to be out trying to get your mind off of things."

Clare nodded, wishing that James could be just a tad more understanding. This wasn't just some kid…this was Eli. But she hadn't really told him much. How could she blame James for not knowing, when she wasn't about to open up and tell him everything that had happened between the two of them. She didn't even really want to go down that road at all, much less with her fiancé. It would be too much at any time, much less now.

"When is the memorial service?"

"Tomorrow."

"Are you going to go to that? It might be good for you to get some closure, maybe see some old school buddies…"

"No, I don't think so," Clare took a sip of the wine and let the burning taste of fermentation ignite her throat, "I just…I think it'd be strange. I don't know. I would like to, of course, but…"

"But what? What's the problem?"

"Uh…I don't really…I never got along with his uh…his parents much," Clare lied, "We'd have study dates sometimes when we would be partnered up for projects and his mom didn't really like me too much. She was always civil, but I could tell…and I don't really want to be there tomorrow if it's going to uh…be any sort of…uh…distraction."

"Okay," James lifted an eyebrow, not quite understanding what she was saying, "Um…okay. Well, I am going to call in pizza for dinner – does that sound good to you? Or we could get something else…"

"Order pizza," Clare put down the glass, "I think I just want to go to bed."

"Really?" James' face paled, "Are you sure? Clare…I worry about you, sweetheart."

"I'm fine. It's just…I am getting kind of tired and sleep should do me some good. I will just put my pajamas on and crawl into bed. Don't stay up too late."

"I won't. Remember, I have the conference tomorrow. I'll probably be head out of here about eight tomorrow morning. If I don't see you, I'll leave you a note, alright."

"Alright," Clare put her glass in the sink and excused herself.

She curled into bed, and pulled her legs up to her chest. She just wanted to disappear into the blankets, never to be seen again. She felt so lost and confused and she knew it was clichéd, but she felt so guilty. She hadn't spoken to Eli in years. Now he was dead, and she would never have the chance to. He was gone. But she had been the one to leave first. She had left him to go to school in New York. She had left, and he had gotten scared and broke up with her. They never spoke again after that.

Clare gripped the comforter in her fist and shoved it into her mouth to muffle a sob. She didn't understand why she was feeling all of these things. Sure, she loved Eli very much…but that had practically been another life. She hadn't spoken to him ages, and she could go several days without him crossing her mind. That wasn't to say that she didn't think of him several times a week though. She would see something or hear a song, and he'd creep back into her thoughts like a ghost haunting her. Clare had always imagined what it would be like to run into him again. She had had this one dream that she would never admit to anyone, but she had dreamt it the night she and James officially got engaged.

In her dream, she was at dinner alone when Eli walked in the door of the restaurant. Their eyes met, and he came over to her and sat down without even a moment's hesitation. They sat there and enjoyed a meal together, drank a tad too much wine, and escaped to his loft downtown for a night of heated passionate sex.

Clare had awoken the next morning startled and afraid, and also somewhat disappointed that it had all been just a dream. She cursed her brain for even thinking something like that, especially on the night her wonderful boyfriend had just proposed.

Now, that dream would never come true. Clare didn't exactly know how she felt about that. She bit down on the comforter again to contain a sob. James was so sweet, and so kind to her throughout this whole thing; but there was no way he would understand why she would be sobbing because of this. Clare didn't even understand it herself, so how could she expect James to?

That night, she Clare cried herself to sleep. She was too exhausted to even hear James come in a few hours later, or wake up a few hours after that. She slept all through the night, and didn't awaken until almost eleven o'clock the next morning. When she did, it was because Midas was on the foot of the bed, whining.

"How did _you_ get up here?" Clare groggily demanded, "You know you aren't allowed on the bed, you big oaf," Clare scooted him off with her feet, and tried to stir herself awake. The sun was blaring in from the cracks in the blinds, and she knew it must be close to being the afternoon. She hadn't slept in like that in a long time, and it surprised her.

"No more wine before bedtime," Clare promised the Golden Retriever, "Come on, Midas. Let's get you something to eat. I bet you're just as starved as I am."

Clare hobbled out to the kitchen with Midas at her heels following close behind. As they headed down the hallway, Clare glanced at the clock. Ten forty-five. She groaned, not quite believing that she had slept in so late. Poor Midas was probably famished. Clare stumbled out into the kitchen and opened the blinds on the window above the sink. It was a pretty day.

"Should be raining," Clare mumbled, pouring some kibble into Midas' bowl, "The memorial service is today. It should be bleak and raining; not bright and sunny. It's as if the day doesn't even care that Eli is gone."

After fixing Midas his kibble, Clare poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table. She found the note that James had left, but didn't quite want to read it just yet. Her eyes were still bleary from sleep, and she wanted to wake herself up a bit more first.

Just as she was about to shovel a bite of cereal into her mouth –

"I'm offended."

Clare dropped her spoon mid-bite, and it – along with a heaping spoonful of Kellogg's flakes – went clamoring to the table. Her jaw fell lax as she saw a man sitting opposite of her at the table. He was sitting with the chair backwards and his legs straddling the back. He had his hands resting on the top of the chair's back, and he had a smirk playing at his lips. A strand of dark brown – almost black – hair fell into his emerald eyes.

"I mean, my memorial service is in a few and you're sitting here eating cereal. Oh, gross! Is that Kellogg's? Correction: sitting here eating _shitty_ cereal."

"What…who…" Clare's brain couldn't quite process what was going on. It was too early for all of this. Maybe she was just dreaming. Yes, that was it. She was just in a _very_ realistic dream. She might have even sleep-walked to the kitchen and made herself cereal and fixed Midas a bowl of kibble. She might have done all those things, and was now imaging Eli sitting at the table with her.

"I…I must be dreaming," Clare decided, "I know I am dreaming. This is all just a very elaborate dream I have concocted and…"

"Clare?"

"What? _No_! I refuse to acknowledge this mirage I have created."

"_Mirage_? Ouch, I'm hurt," his brow's furrowed, and his mouth formed a gigantic, overly-dramatic "O"

"This is what I deserve," Clare put her spoon back into her bowl, "This is what I get for drinking wine before bedtime. And this is what I get for drinking a _new_ kind of wine I have never tried before, right before bedtime. I am having some sort of drunken, exhausted, psychologically disturbed….mental breakdown."

"You're mental, that's for sure…but I am pretty sure this isn't a mental breakdown."

"No…I am _not_ going to sit here and talk to this…this…_hallucination_ I have created."

"_Hallucination_? Oh, Edwards, you're breakin' my heart here."

"I-I'm going back to bed."

"Is that how to treat your guest? Especially a guest you haven't seen in ten years?" His eyebrow raised and his smirk broadened, and Clare felt her heartbeat quicken.

"This is ridiculous. I…I can't believe I am sitting here doing this right now. I just…I need to go back to bed. This will all be over when I wake up. Come on, Midas," Clare stood from the table and headed towards the sink to put her bowl away. When she arrived at the sink, she let out a scream.

"What the hell? What the hell is going on here?" Clare demanding as the man stood right in the middle of the sink. It was as if he had passed through the cabinet and was just standing there perfectly unfazed.

"Come on, Edwards. You were always a bright one. Think about it for a moment."

"I am _not_ going to think about this. I am going to go back to bed…"

"What is the first thought that comes into your head. Go on. You can tell me."

"I am _not_ going to tell you anything."

"I bet I know what it is."

"No, you certainly do not. And stop talking to me. I cannot just sit here and talk to myself like…like I am some kind of delusional crazy person. Get out of my sink, _damn it_, I need to rinse my dishes!"

"Oooh, Saint Clare using harsh language?" Again with a tweak of his eyebrow.

Clare inhaled, and tried to logically form some sort of reasonable thought, but the only thought that came to mind was that she was having a conversation with a ghost.

"This is ridiculous. I am not standing here having this conversation right now."

"Why not, Blue Eyes?" He folded his arms over his chest, a smirk playing at his lips still.

"Because…" Clare was growing frustrated and it showed in her face and laced her voice, "This…this cannot be happening. I cannot be standing here talking to a…a…ghost!"

"Oh but you are – and might I add, a very sexy ghost indeed!"

**Author's Note: Fun Fact - About halfway through this story, I realized I called Clare's fiance' "Brian" (her fiance's name in my other story) instead of "James" and I had to go back and fix that haha oh well, hope you are enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it for you all!**


	3. Chapter Three

**Author's Note: I am so sorry I haven't updated recently. Yesterday I was really sick with a massive headache, and today I was busy with family. I am really sorry!**

Chapter Three:

"Oh no – oh no-no-no-_no_!" Clare backed away with her hands held up as if in surrender, "This isn't happening. I just…I…"

"Oh believe me, babe," Eli suggestively raised an eyebrow, "_It's_ happening."

Clare collapsed at the kitchen table and put her head in her hands. Maybe if she just closed her eyes, when she opened them again, he'd be gone. She felt like a little kid who believed if she only just covered her face with her blankets, the monsters wouldn't see her and therefore wouldn't be real.

"Clare?"

"Please just go away!"

"Is that any way to talk to me? I don't think that's any way to talk to me. Have some respect for the dead, will you?"

"Respect for the…" Clare cut herself off with a dry laugh, "I refuse to acknowledge that this is happening. This can't be happening. You…you're _dead_!"

"No shit, I thought I was just taking a short little nappy-by."

"_Shut up_," Clare glared at him with a sidelong look of loathing.

"Don't you have, like, a bagillion questions to ask me?" Eli crossed his arms over his chest, "I mean, surely you are just dying to ask me something. No pun intended."

"I have nothing to say to things that don't exist."

"_Ouch_," Eli leaned against the fridge.

"How can you lean against something when you apparently apparated through my sink?"

"I don't know how all this works…wait a sec…did you just…you just acknowledged that this is real, and that this is happening!"

"You know what, it's not like I have anything else better to do," Clare sighed, "Alright, I'll humor you. Suppose you are _really_ a ghost. Suppose that this is _actually_ happening and I am standing here talking to the ghost of my ex-boyfriend from high school…why? Why me? Why are you in my house?"

"Well, I didn't exactly have much of a choice in the matter," Eli rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I guess I should start from the beginning."

"Yeah, do that," Clare kept her sidelong glance.

"Well, I have a problem."

"No, really? I wouldn't have guessed!"

"Do you want me to tell you why all of this is happening? Because I can just shut up right now, if you'd prefer."

"No," Clare rolled her eyes, "_Continue_."

"Well, I have a problem with drinking. I drink a lot. A lot more than I should. I don't really know why I do – or did, rather – but it just sort of…happened. I tried to keep it hidden. My parents knew, and Adam of course. But for the most part, I was able to keep myself together. I had a good job at Degrassi, and working at the community theater. But I just…I wasn't happy. Anyways, I drank too much and lost control of my car. I hit an oncoming car, and died. The other car was pretty much fine, but I was dead within a few seconds."

"Did it…uh…did it hurt?" Clare's brow furrowed, and she tried to ask the question as gently as she could. She would never admit it – she was supposed to be super-duper Christian, after all – but the concept of death did scare her.

"Not really, no," Eli ran a hand through his hair, "It was kind of like…going to sleep. When I woke up…I was in this fog. Like, I couldn't make out where I was or what had happened. Nothing hurt, but I felt really weird. Like something wasn't quite right. Well, as I was wondering around in this fog, I talked to the big guy…"

"_God_?" Clare gasped.

"No, Clare – _Peter Griffin_," when she looked puzzled, Eli let out a minor, frustrated growl, "Yes, God."

"Oh my gosh!" Her face was aglow, "You talked to God? What was that like? What is _he_ like? You went to heaven? I guess this means you believe in him now, huh? Does he really have a sense of humor? Was he kind to you, or angry at you? What'd he tell you?"

"Geeze, Clare, remember to breathe," Eli rolled his eyes, "Yes, I talked to God. And it was…_interesting_, to say the least. And yeah, I guess I believe in him now. He didn't really give me much of a choice when he just started talking to me out of nowhere. And yeah, he has a sense of humor…he sent me here with you!"

"He sent you to me?"

Eli sighed again, "Can you let me tell you the story, or are you just going to keep interrupting?"

"Sorry," Clare blushed.

"Now then," Eli cleared his throat, "I was wondering around in this fog and this voice just starts chatting with me out of the blue. It wasn't like a deep voice, or commanding. It was just…a voice. Like it could have been anyone's voice – the garbage man, the homeless dude down the street, the guy that works at the Qik-Mart – anyone. He starts telling me that he's sorry that he had to take me away from everything so soon, but he wasn't quite finished with me yet. He told me that he had something special in mind for me. He told me…he told me that I had screwed up big time throughout my twenty-eight years on earth. He told me that I had really fucked up, Clare. And I did. I know I did."

Again, he ran his hand through his hair – and Clare recalled it was a habit of his whenever he was nervous or anxious, "He told me that he isn't a fan of three strikes and you're out. He said he loves giving all the chances possible, and for him, that's an infinite number of chances," Eli smirked, "So he tells me he wants me to go back and sort of fix what I screwed up. When I asked what he meant, he told me you. He said that we had messed up, and that we were supposed to be together but failed at it, and now I am sentenced to sort of watch over you."

"_What_?"

"Pick your eyeballs up off the floor," Eli rolled his eyes, "I was just as shocked as you. I mean, why you? Why us, you know? He told me that he doesn't take soul mates unless the soul mates come to him together. When one soul mate dies, the other becomes their…uh…guardian angel until the other dies."

"_Guardian angel_?" Clare nearly choked on the word, "_You'r__e _my guardian angel?"

"Lucky me," sarcasm dripped like honey from his lips, "I know it's totally cheesy and something out of some shitty TV-movie, but I'm just telling you what he told me. Like I said, he's got a sense of humor. So now I'm kind of sentenced to be your guardian angel to make up for us failing at the whole relationship thing, and because apparently, you're my soul mate."

"Wow," Clare tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I…I don't know what to say. Eli, I swear to God if this is some sort of ploy to get me to get back together with you…"

"It's not. I promise," Eli shook some hair from his eyes, "So we're kind of stuck together."

"Wonderful," Clare sighed, "And _how_ exactly do I explain you to my fiancé?"

"You're the only one that can see me," a small smirk tugged at his lips, "Like I said, sense of humor."

"What else did he tell you?"

"That I was a pain in his butt a lot of times, but he thanked me for making him laugh on a daily basis. I took that as a compliment."

Clare chuckled, "Well, I can't argue with him there. I still…I can't believe this. I mean…you're my soul mate? And my guardian angel?"

"Apparently," Eli shrugged, "Go figure."

"Well this is awesome," Clare growled, "I am engaged, Eli. Engaged to be married to a wonderful man and I find out that he's not my soul mate."

"You saw Titanic."

"Yeah, so?"

"So…that scene after Rose dies? She meets up with Jack in the Titanic."

"_Ookay_?" Clare's brow furrowed, and she looked at him as if he had gone mad.

"She married another guy, but Jack was always her soul mate."

"Should I be concerned as to how you know so much about a chick-flick?"

"Probably," Eli grinned, then said, "So what are we going to do today, _soul mate_?"

**Author's Note: Sorry it's short. The next chapter will be longer. Also, he said "soul mate" there at the end like he said "girl friend" when he first refers to Clare as his girlfriend. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I had an idea for a portion of this chapter. I was going to write it down and save it so I wouldn't forget it. Lucky for you all who don't like to wait (don't worry, I get impatient about updates too) I stayed up and ended up writing a whole chapter to go along with that one little portion. Enjoy!**

Chapter Four

"_We_," Clare stood up from the chair, "Aren't doing anything._ I_ am going to go get a shower and take a nap. Then_ I_ am going to scrounge up something for lunch. Then _I_ am going to take Midas on a walk, and possibly watch Notting Hill – all while trying desperately to forget that you are here!"

"Sounds fun!"

Clare groaned, "So I am really stuck with you for the rest of my life?"

"If you got a problem, you can always take it up with God; but I wouldn't, seeing as he just told me how proud he is of you for your unwavering faith and devotion."

"_Damn it_," Clare hissed, "Look, just find something to keep yourself busy while I get a shower, alright? And don't even think about apparating into my bathroom you little scum!"

Eli looked hurt, "I wouldn't even dream of it!"

Clare grabbed a towel out of the linen closet, and headed to the bedroom she shared with James. Their bathroom was adjacent, and after months of renovation, it had become her sanctuary. It had been James' gift to her last year, and she adored it. The walls were limestone, and the whole room was lit with soothingly dim lights. There was a chandelier hanging above the Jacuzzi, and little nooks that housed candles throughout the walls.

Clare place her towel on the small wooden bench next to the Jacuzzi. After a bit of scrounging in her cabinets, Clare retrieved her rosewater bath salts and peppermint aromatherapy oil. She mixed the concoction into the tub of the Jacuzzi, and turned on the tap. She flipped the switch on the wall, turning the jets onto the highest speed possible. The roar of the water already was comforting, and she could hardly wait to slip into the frothy bath.

She desperately needed this moment to herself. She needed a second just to collect her thoughts, and try not to think profanities against God. God had always been her anchor throughout everything. He had given her strength and guidance, and now he had given her Eli.

"I don't know what in your name you're thinking," Clare told him, waiting on the water to rise a bit more before stepping in, "But this is insane. I know I shouldn't question you…but really? Eli? Of all people? _Eli Goldsworthy_? Okay, you know, I am not going to sit here and yell at you, or question you. You just…do your thing, and I'll trust you."

Clare slipped out of her pajamas and dipped a toe into the tub. Perfect temperature. She slid down into the scalding water, and sighed comfortably. She lived for moments such as these. Simplistic perfection.

After about forty-five minutes of turning herself into a raisin, Clare decided she should probably go and make sure that Eli hadn't completely run amuck in her house. She stepped out of the tub, dried off, and put on her favorite comfy robe. After throwing her matted hair into a messy knot, she headed out towards the living room.

"You're still here."

"Of course. I can't go far from you," Eli explained, "Why are you in a granny robe?"

"It's comfortable," Clare pulled it tighter around her, "Why are you so obnoxious?" It was then Clare noticed the dog lying sprawled out across the couch, his head in Eli's lap, "I thought only I could see you."

"Apparently so can Mr. Butt-Breath over here. Seriously, what are you feeding this beast?" Eli asked, rubbing the dog good-naturedly behind the ears.

"I have a question."

"_A_ question?"

"Many questions, but for now, I have one question. How can you touch things? Like, you leaned against the fridge, and you're touching Midas…but you uh…walked…through my sink."

"I don't know. Maybe I can solidly touch things that I want to," Eli shrugged, "Like, I want to pet the dog, so I am. That sort of thing. Can I try something without you slapping me?"

"No."

"Come on," he hopped up from the couch, and shot her a pleading glance, "I just want to touch your hand. That's it. I want to see if we can touch or if I'd like '_go through you_' or something. I don't know…all of this is new to me too."

Clare decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he was probably just as nervous and freaked out by this whole ordeal as she was, "Fine," Clare held out her hand.

"Okay," Eli reached his hand out and placed his palm against hers, "Wow."

"Wow is right," they stood there, hand touching, without saying anything for a moment. Clare couldn't believe it. She had imagined it'd be like the scene from Just Like Heaven, and his hand would fall through hers. However, that was not the case. His hand seemed like any other human hand. If she hadn't been told, and if he hadn't stood in the middle of her sink, she wouldn't have known he was a ghost – or an angel, whatever he was.

"So we can touch each other," he nodded, pulling his hand away and running it through his hair.

"Good to know in case I need to slap you."

"Hey," Eli looked hurt, "Wait a second…what the hell is that?"

Clare blushed violently as Justin Bieber's "Baby" began to play loudly from the kitchen, "That's my phone," she admitted, "It's my ringtone for James."

"Yeah, that's not totally creepy at all."

"Shut up," Clare hissed, looking rather terrified.

"Hey, Clare," Eli's eyes got almost as wide as hers as he said in a matched tone of horror, "He can't see or hear me. That wonderful gift falls to you. Treasure it."

Clare rolled her eyes and scurried into the kitchen. She grabbed her phone off the counter and answered it, "Hello?"

"Hi, baby! Guess what!"

"What?"

"I got to leave early; I'm going to be home sooner than expected!"

"Wow…that's great, James!"

"Yeah, I need to stop at the store and get a few things, but then I'll be home. I figured I needed to be home with you right now, so I managed to leave a lot earlier than planned. Isn't that great?"

"Yeah," Clare shot a nervous glance towards the man who had just reached into the fruit bowl and was currently juggling apples, "That is."

"So how are you, honey? I've been thinking of you all day. Are you okay?"

"I'm better," Clare glared at Eli as an apple fell to the ground and smooshed all over the floor.

"Oopsies," Eli slid his lips into an "uh-oh" look.

"Terrific," Clare hissed.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing honey. Um…yeah, I'm doing a bit better. I think I am starting to come to accept that death happens, and it's one of those things that we all are going to have to face."

"Good for you! I am really proud of you. I was starting to get worried. You seemed really shaken up, and I just…I want you to be okay. So anyways, I'm headed to the store, then home. I should be there in about an hour. I hope you didn't have plans."

"No…no plans."

"Perfect. I love you, Clare."

"Love you too, James," Clare said, before hanging up the phone, "He's on his way home."

"Oh goodie, I get to meet lover boy!"

"Eli, just…don't do anything to screw anything up."

"How could I? He won't be able to see or hear me, Clare."

"I know," Clare was growing flustered, "I just…I don't know. This is all too much. I can't believe this. I just…it's so much to process…and my fiancé…my wonderful fiancé will be home soon, and you're here!"

"Look, if I could scram, I would, but I can't. So we're stuck together. It's just you and me babe."

"I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. By the way," Clare pointed towards the apple, "You're picking that up."

Clare hurried around the house – changing her clothes, fixing her hair, trying to figure out what to do with Eli. She couldn't believe that her fiancé would be home, and Eli would be there. Then again, this was how it would be for the rest of her life. Clare groaned as she spritzed some perfume on herself.

"This can't be happening!"

"Hey, I didn't ask for this either," Eli reminded her, leaning against the counter as she applied some makeup, "Are you really going to put that goop on your eyes?"

"This goop is _mascara_, and yes."

"Why?"

"It makes my eyelashes more pronounced. Are you just going to bother be forever? I am sure you just love that."

Eli shrugged, "Depends."

"Lucky me."

James arrived a few minutes later. She heard the garage door go up, and she glared at Eli.

"Don't bother me. Please, just leave me alone for right now. Can you do that?"

"Sure," Eli shrugged, "You want time with your fiancé. I get it."

"Thank you," Clare sighed a breath of relief before going out to greet her fiancé. Eli followed close behind her. He wanted to see what James looked like. Who was this guy Clare was devoting the rest of her life to anyway?

"James!" Clare hugged him, and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"You're looking like you feel better," he grinned, then as if a light bulb went off in his head, he said, "I know you've had a tough few days, sweetheart. But to make up for that, lookie what I have! I brought you some red roses – your favorite flower! And I bought the finest champagne I could fine. And, I bought you that Michael Bolton CD you've been asking for…"

Clare shot a terrified glance to the man standing in the corner, a surprised but smug smirk plastered on his face. Her cheeks grew hot, and she tried not to snap at her fiancé.

"James, it's really nice of you, but I don't…I don't like Michael Bolton."

"Sure you do. Now then, I'm going to get this stuff set up in the bedroom. Come meet me in about five minutes? I'm going to rock your world, baby!"

Clare's cheeks turned a painfully deep shade of crimson. When James had retreated to the bedroom, Clare turned to Eli and said, "I-I don't know where he got the idea that I like Michael Bolton…"

"Uh-huh," Eli cocked an eyebrow, "As if that wasn't bad enough – roses and champagne? He thinks Michael Bolton, roses, and champagne is the way to seduce you?"

"I don't even want to hear you say the word 'seduce' in reference to my fiancé and me ever again," Clare snapped, "Also, James is very sweet. He's…trying."

"Trying? To do what? Pop your cheery in some lame eighties teen drama? Come on, Clare. There's so many better ways to seduce a woman!"

"Like what?" Clare crossed her arms over her chest, "Oh yeah, I'm remembering now! Do you recall when we were watching that movie when your parents were gone for the day? We were snuggled on the couch together and you raised your eyebrow and said…"

"Oh no."

"Oh yes," Clare grinned, and said, "'Hey Clare, what has 142 teeth, and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper!'"

Eli glared daggers at her, "I was eighteen, Clare! Eighteen! It sounded pretty badass at the time."

"And how did it work out for you?"

"Not too hot. You smacked me and called me a pig."

"Yup," Clare grinned, "It's all coming back to me now."

"Come on, I wasn't even really being all that serious. Besides, we hadn't even gone further than making out. Do you really think I'd ask you to do something like that in all seriousness?"

"I don't know," Clare brushed some hair from her eyes, "The point is, your idea of seducing a woman is pretty skewed."

"Is that so? Keep in mind, I was only eighteen then. A lot has changed."

"Really now?"

"I'll have you know I could seduce you better than Mr. Rosey-Champagne-Bolton-Pants over there."

"I doubt that," Clare scoffed.

"Oh really?" Eli took a step towards her, "Let me prove it to you. First, I'd grab you from behind, like this," Eli placed his arms around her waist and pulled her body closer to his so that her back was touching his torso.

"Eli…"

"Then I'd start kissing your neck, like this," Eli began to lightly plant soft little showers of kisses on her neck and collarbone. Though she tried to fight it, Clare couldn't help but moan as his teeth softly nipped at her flesh, "That's right, _sweetheart_," Eli growled softly against her skin, enticing goose bumps, "I remember what you like."

His hands moved dangerously further down her body until they landed on her hips, "Tell me, where else would you like me to kiss?"

Clare let out a soft moan as Eli nipped at her earlobe, "Tell me, Clare. Where do you want to be kissed?"

"Eli…" she gasped, breathlessly.

"See?" He shoved her away from him, "What'd I tell you? I got you all hot and bothered in less than two minutes. I'd like to see Mr. Fancy Pants over there do that to you!"

"Eli!" Clare growled, disappointed.

"Oh, don't give me that look. You got to march yourself in there and make love to your fiancé. Don't worry, I won't be watching. I'll just sit out here and chill with the dog."

"I could just murder you," Clare hissed.

"That's the funny thing about being dead," Eli smirked, sitting down on the couch.

"Clare?" James called from the bedroom, "You can come in now; I'm ready."

"Have fun," Eli's smirk turned into a broad grin. Clare scowled at him, and if looks could kill…

"I hate you."

"Love you too, _soul mate_!"

**Author's Note: Well, they always were intense lol can't wait to see what's gonna happen next!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I am so sorry I've been neglecting my stories. I am trying to get better about that, but there's just so much going on. I move into my new apartment in August and am cramming to buy some stuff and summer school starts on Monday…it's just a lot. I don't mind writing at all – I love it and it's what keeps me sane in the mess of everything else – but I just don't have the time to update everyday like I was, and I am really sorry for that. All of y'all are amazing and you deserve updates everyday, and I am sorry I can't do that at this time. **

Chapter Five

Eli sat down on the couch, propped his feet up on the glass-top coffee table, and patted the cushion, calling Midas over.

"You know, mutt, I sure as hell didn't ask for any of this. I never expected…it's just…how does she think I feel? Does she think that I get some sort of sick, perverted pleasure from this sitation?"

Midas sneezed.

"It's like she thinks I am doing this on purpose. I didn't exactly have a choice, did I? And even if I did have a choice, I sure as shit wouldn't be here…with her! The big guy didn't seem so bad…I'd rather be chilling with him and Kurt Cobain and Dio than sitting on Clare Edward's couch while she has sex with her fiancé! I never asked for any of this, Midas. I mean…it isn't exactly fair, is it?"

Midas wheezed and laid his chin on Eli's thigh.

"I just…why couldn't I have just died? Why do I have to be trapped here with her? Why can't my mom or dad – or Adam – be the ones that can see me and hear me? Why can it only be her…and I guess you. A bitch and a mutt…my life is just fucking fantastic."

Midas whimpered.

"Oh don't even," Eli ran a hand through his hair, "How'd you feel in this situation if it were you? You'd want to be in heaven chasing rabbits and eating garbage, not stuck with the one person in the whole world you couldn't stand – and they couldn't stand you either. It just…it sucks. I want to wake up from this stupid dream and have it all be over. I just want to wake up. Maybe I am in a coma or something, and I'll wake up soon and Adam and I can laugh over this stupid, crazy dream over beers?"

Eli scratched behind the dog's ears, "Your owner is a bitch, Midas. I don't know if you know this or not, but she is. I mean…she's the reason I started drinking. I wanted to forget her. I thought I was doing us both a favor by calling it off after she graduated. She was going to go off to NYU, and I…well, I didn't know what I was going to do. All I knew was that I didn't want to be responsible for holding her back. And plus, I was scared. I was fucking chicken shit that she would find a guy better than me, so I decided to just break it off first – call it off and get it over with like a Band-Aid."

Eli sighed and rolled his eyes, "I never did stop thinking about her. Everything…everything reminded me of her, and of how much I missed her. So I started to drink, hoping to lose her memory in the bottom of a bottle. But look where that got me, huh? Dead. Sort of…whatever the hell this is. I mean…why couldn't God have picked a better guardian angel for her? Someone who actually cared about her, for example."

Midas pawed at Eli's leg, "Alright, alright. So maybe I do care about her…but she still is the most obnoxious pain in the ass. Seriously…she has to always be right, and she thinks she's just so hilarious and she…she…fuck. Midas, this is the worst kind of hell imaginable. God does have some sort of sick humor. I am sentenced to stay by her side for the rest of her life, while she fucks and marries some stock-broker type guy. This is just fantastic, mutt. Seriously…this is just a fucking fairytale."

A few minutes later, Clare appeared. She was still fully-clothed, and her hair was a bit messed up though. Eli raised a questioning eyebrow.

"James' idea of a romantic time is making out for a few minutes and then watching the news together," Clare whispered, making a face, "I'm just supposed to come grab some cheese and crackers to go with the champagne."

"Wow…that was…that's his idea of being romantic?"

"Yes," Clare furiously brushed at her hair with her fingertips, "Don't even…don't you dare gloat!"

"After I got you all hot and bothered, the least he could do was finish the job."

"Eli…shut up! Just…keep yourself entertained while I go watch Anderson Cooper."

"I just can't believe that that's his idea of being romantic. Like…I really did think he was going to tie you to the bed and ravish you with hot sex while playing Michael Boton on the stereo. Really."

"Please stop," Clare begged, retreating to the kitchen. Eli was quick to follow her though, and wasn't going to give up that easily.

"You're just pissy because you wanted to have sex and he denied you that."

"Stop it!" Clare turned on a heel and hissed through clenched teeth, "Why are you even here, Eli? Seriously…I swear, I wish you'd just disappear and I'd never have to see you again."

"Wouldn't that be nice?" Eli raised an eyebrow, "Unfortunately for you, princess, I am here for the long haul. You know what," Eli slammed the refrigerator door shut right after she opened it and moved in front of it, blocking her, "No. You blame me for all of this? You think I am getting some enjoyment from being here? I wish I had just died, Clare…but I didn't. I am here, with you…and I fucking hate it just as much as you do."

Clare was taken aback. She never really had given it much thought, but now she realized that Eli wasn't exactly glad about their arrangement either. She felt a sudden pang of guilt and backed away from the fridge. Why couldn't God have just let him go up to heaven and that be the end of it? Heck, Eli would love to hang out with the people up there…but no. He was stuck with her, and even worse – she was the only one that could see or hear him. Clare suddenly realized how difficult this must be for him. The people he'd like to see and talk to (his parents to comfort them, Adam to tell him it wasn't his fault) and he couldn't.

"I am so sorry," she said, her voice on a breath, "Really…I just…this is weird for me too," Clare whispered just in case James had abandoned their bedroom, "I wish you could just go be at peace, or at least be with your parents or Adam. I wish you could be with them, not with me. And I am not just saying that because you annoy me…I mean that because, well…I know if it were me…Eli…"

"I just don't know what to do, Clare. Are we really stuck like this forever? I mean…at least until you die I guess. It just doesn't make much sense to me."

"Maybe there's a way out of this, but God just isn't telling us because he wants us to figure it out on our own," Clare mused, "That could be it. Look…how about tomorrow…I see if Adam can come over. We can try to introduce this whole thing to him. I know it might make you feel better to have him around, even if you can't exactly communicate with him."

"You'd do that?" Eli's eyes widened, "Wow…thanks, Clare. That's really…wow! Thank you."

"Of course. I know it must be difficult for you, and having Adam over might ease this a bit. Besides, it'll be nice to have some time with someone other than just me."

"You better take loverboy your cheese and crackers," Eli slid away from the fridge.

"Oh," Clare looked slightly disappointed; and she was. She found that she was actually enjoying talking to Eli, "Yeah, of course. Hey, I guess you don't eat, do you? I'd fix you something – whatever you wanted."

"Thanks," Eli let a small smile cross his face, "But I don't think it works like that."

"Yeah," Clare blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before moving to grab the brie out of the fridge, "Hey…tomorrow it'll be fun, alright? We'll have Adam over and we can just kind of have some time…to just…talk I guess."

"Talking is good," Eli ran a hand through his hair and watched as Clare fixed the plate, "I think that cheese expired."

"It's brie. It's supposed to stink. But it tastes very sweet. It's good."

"It smells like feet."

"You smell like feet."

"I'm dead; I'd imagine there's some stench that comes with the decomposing."

"You smelled like feet back in high school."

"Shut up," Eli rolled his eyes, and Clare turned just in time to notice the huge grin on his face as he said it.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"You're going to be gone tomorrow, right?" Clare asked, raising the glass of red wine to her lips to take a sip. She and James were having dinner together. For the first time since the obituary was issued, Clare had felt up to cooking and had made a delicious meal of chicken, green beans, rolls, and sweet potatoes. She didn't want to seem overly happy though, or else James would be suspicious. It was difficult though, not to be cherry or laughing when you had the ghost of your ex-boyfriend whispering dirty jokes in your ear the whole meal.

"Yes, I am going to get some work done tomorrow and will pretty much be gone all day. I'm sorry I'm going to have to leave you, but you seem to be doing better today. Which is good. I mean, it wasn't healthy for you to just mope all day."

"_Moping_?" Eli raised an eyebrow, "_You were moping_?"

Clare ignored him, "Yeah, I think I just needed some time to just think and cope. It was so weird and so sudden…I just never imagined that he'd die so young. He had so much to live for."

Eli uncomfortably leaned against the wall behind Clare's chair and folded his arms over his chest; he was interested in where this conversation would go.

"You never did tell me much about him."

"Oh," Clare thoughtfully cut a piece of chicken and popped it in her mouth, "Well…he and I were English partners together and we worked on some extra-curricular stuff like the newspaper and some school plays. He was a great playwright."

James nodded, "You told me that. Tell me something else. You were so shaken up about his death…it'll be good for you to talk about him. What was your favorite memory of him?"

"Oh gosh," Clare blushed fervently, wishing Eli wasn't standing right behind her with that ridiculously sexy smirk plastered on his face, "Well…there's a few good memories of him. One thing was…during my parents fighting, he was always there for me. He was there to just sit and listen, and when I went a little crazy about everything, he kept me grounded."

"He sounds like he was a good friend of yours," Peter took a sip of wine.

"He was," Clare smiled bashfully as she lifted a bite of mashed sweet potatoes to her lips.

"I still wish I could be here tomorrow. It's just…I have a ton of work to do, and you know it is. I'm glad you're doing better today. I feel better about leaving you now that you're doing better."

"_Hey, Clare_," Eli hissed in her ear, "_How come they couldn't shut the casket lid on the dead man?_" Clare glared at him through a sidelong glance, "_Because_," Eli's breath was hot on her ear, "_He overdosed on Viagra!_"

"Oh God!" Clare turned around in horror.

"What's the matter?" James jumped up from his chair, "Are you alright, sweetheart."

"Yes," Clare blushed and dabbed at her lips with her napkin, "I'm sorry it's just…I was thinking about Eli and I just got a bit um…emotional."

"_Got more than emotional if you ask me_," Eli snickered in her ear.

"Well, that's alright I guess," Peter eyed her suspiciously, "Sometimes we just need to get these feelings out. This chicken is delicious by the way. Anyways, yes tomorrow I will be gone for most of the day. Perhaps you can get out and do something fun – get your mind off of everything."

_"Hey, Clare…wanna know the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using one feather…kinky is using the whole chicken_."

Clare dropped her forehead into her palm and tried to remain calm. She couldn't afford another outburst like the one she had just had, but Eli seriously knew just how to get under her skin; and he was loving every second of it. Eli always enjoyed watching her squirm, seeing her blush, hearing the breath catch a little in her throat. He loved causing that reaction.

"Are you okay, honey?" Peter asked, concerned.

"Yes, just a minor headache. I think it'll pass soon."

"Okay, well you let me know if you need me to stop at the pharmacy and get you aspirin."

"Thank you," Clare cut another bite of chicken, "So what kind of work do you have to do tomorrow?"

"_What's long and hard and full of seamen?_"

Clare delicately moved her hand from the table to underneath the table so she could easily flip Eli off without James noticing.

"_I was just going to say a submarine_," Eli shot her an innocent glance.

"Well," James cleared his throat and lifted the wine to his lips again, "Just mostly paper work and processing. It'll be boring, but hey – it puts food in the table."

"_I'll put food on _your_ table, Edwards_."

"Are you done?" Clare hissed.

"Clare?"

"Sorry, James," Clare blushed, "I just meant, are you done with your plate? I'll go start the dishes if you are."

"No, I'm still eating…that's why there's still a lot of my food on my plate and…I'm still eating off of it," James titled his head to the side, "Are you sure you're okay? You're looking a little…flustered."

"_Not half as flustered as you're going to be._"

"I think I just need to lie down," Clare grabbed her glass of wine and guzzled the remaining half left in the glass, "That's better," she wiped at the corners of her lips.

"I am worried about you, Clare. You're not exactly acting like yourself tonight."

"I know, I'm sorry," Clare blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I just…I feel like there's a lot on my plate right now and it's a little stressful and…"

"Okay," James nodded, trying to be understanding, "Yeah…why don't you just go lie down. I can finish up dinner and do the dishes tonight. Just try to get some rest, alright?"

"Yeah, sure," Clare slid her chair out from the table and headed back to the bedroom. Eli was close on her heels, grinning from ear to ear. She didn't even bother to pat Midas on the head as she passed by him. When they were safely in the bedroom, Clare slammed the door shut and locked it.

"I didn't know you were so eager to get me in your bedroom…"

"What the _hell_ is the matter with you?" Clare hissed, "Did you think that was funny?"

"Very much so, yes. Thanks for asking."

"You are a dead-man!"

"Yes, yes I am. You're quite observant, aren't you Edwards?"

"Shut up!" Clare hissed and pointed a finger threateningly at his chest, "I can't believe you! Those jokes were the sickest…"

"Oh believe me, I know far dirtier," Eli wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"You're so impossible!" Clare rolled her eyes, "I swear, if you weren't dead I would kill you myself, then bring you back to life, and kill you again!"

"I saw you smile!"

"I did not do any such thing!"

"Really? Because I am pretty sure I saw a smile on that pretty little face."

"Don't be patronizing," Clare rolled her eyes again, "You can't act like that…but especially when James is around, you can't act like that!"

"How else am I supposed to entertain myself if I'm not allowed to get you all hot and bothered."

"I was _not_ all hot and bothered."

"You were earlier today."

"Shut up!" Clare spat the words out as if they were a bad taste, "Look, I need to be in bed before James comes in, so why don't you just go do whatever it is ghosts do at night."

"Considering I am more of a guardian angel than a ghost, I can't very well just go haunt random shit, Clare. You're stuck with me. Don't worry, I'm not a creep; I won't watch you sleep. I'll probably just read or something."

"Are you sure?" Clare winced, suddenly feeling bad, "I don't want you to be bored."

"Clare, I think I can entertain myself, alright. Don't you go worrying about me."

Clare sighed and dropped her arms to her sides, "I've always worried about you," she admitted.

"Nah, Edwards," Eli reached out and touched one of the auburn curls that framed her face, "That's my job…to worry about you."

Clare blushed and shyly turned away from his touch, "I've got to get ready for bed. You're not staying in here to watch me change into my pajamas."

Eli stuck his bottom lip out and Clare couldn't help but notice how heart seemed to turn into a puddle. He still had that power over her, and she almost could just about hate him for it.

"If you're not going to leave, the least you can do is turn around."

"Fine," Eli gave in as Clare retreated towards her dresser.

Clare slipped into her pajamas, all the while trying to quiet her heart. She could feel it racing so violently she was worried that it would burst through her chest. Why did Eli still have this effect on her?

"Are you excited about seeing Adam tomorrow?" Clare asked, pulling her t-shirt over her head.

"Honestly?" Eli winced, gripping the nape of his neck in his usual nervous habit, "I'm nervous more than anything. What if he doesn't believe us? This whole thing is pretty crazy."

"It'll be fine," Clare tried to be reassuring, "I mean, it's us Eli. Would we really be making up this whole thing? I mean, at least would I be making up this whole thing? As far as Adam knows, I can't stand you still."

"What do you mean as far as Adam knows? Does that mean you can stand me?" Eli asked excitedly.

"Sometimes you're not as obnoxious as you can be," Clare decided that was all the answer she would permit him to have. She turned from the vanity and adjusted the baggy t-shirt over her short little shorts, "You can turn around now."

"Cute, but I was expecting something more revealing."

"Go!" Clare pointed to the door of the bedroom; and despite trying to hide it, she smiled which quickly turned into a laugh as Eli titled his head to the side and pouted, "_Now_, Eli!"

"Alright, alright. I'm leaving. Oooh, I can go all poltergeist and start throwing shit around and trashing…"

"You said yourself, you're a guardian angel – not a ghost. And if you trash anything…"

"You'll what?" Eli smirked, "That's what I thought. Sweet dreams, Clare."

Clare smiled and rolled her eyes, "Just get outta here, alright?"

After Eli unlocked the door and headed out, Clare quickly hopped into bed and turned out the light. Maybe if she appeared to be asleep, James wouldn't pester her about her little outbursts at dinner. She closed her eyes tightly, and prayed for sleep. Of course, she couldn't have such a luxury.

Instead, her thoughts were filled with none other than Eli Goldsworthy. Why was all of this happening to them? Was this how it was going to be for the rest of her life? She couldn't exactly imagine having Eli always being right there by her side throughout everything. Sure, she had wanted that but not with James standing by her other side. It was just too much.

Thankfully James would be gone tomorrow, and Clare could call up Adam and invite him over. Surely he would believe her. It wasn't exactly likely that Clare could make up such a story, especially about someone she was supposed to loath.

It was funny – before reading the obituary, Clare really did think that she loathed Eli. She would have been perfectly fine never seeing him again. Then when his picture appeared in the paper, it had become so real. Before it was always fine because there was still that shadow of a chance they could run into each other again. But once she had heard he was dead, that was no longer a possibility.

Yet here he was, living in her house. Clare's head spun and she couldn't tell if it was from drinking the wine too quickly, or if it was from Eli. Either way, she was grateful when James came into the bedroom and didn't even mention the incident at dinner.

"Are you feeling better?" He whispered as he kicked off his shoes.

"Mmhmm," Clare answered sleepily, "It's nice to just get some rest."

"I know you've had a tough time lately, Clare. It'll get better though. Things like this just take some time. Maybe tomorrow you can do something fun and get your mind off of Eli."

"I was thinking of calling up some old school friends actually," Clare admitted, still not rolling over to face him, "Just to catch up and make sure they're all okay."

"Really? That's great, Clare. I'm really proud of you. See? Everything is going to be fine. It takes some time, but everything always works out in the end. Now, I'm gonna hit the shower and get some sleep. Do you want me to leave this light off?"

"Yes, please," Clare replied and James nodded before heading into the adjoining bathroom.

When she heard the water splash against the tiling, Clare relaxed a bit. The sound of water always soothed her, but today not even the sound of James' shower could calm all of the emotions she was feeling.

Midas wheezed on the edge of the bed, and Clare gave the dog a gentle nudge with her foot, "Midas, what are we going to do about all of this, huh?"

Midas sneezed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Disclaimer – intense cursing in this chapter. **

Chapter Seven

"_Eli, what are you doing?"_

Eli was sitting on the couch, completely absorbed in Clare's beat up copy of one of her favorite novels, _Bel Canto_, when the voice first made its appearance. It was, once again, that same could-be-anyone type of voice.

"What do you mean? I'm reading, what else am I supposed to be doing while she's asleep?"

_"That's not what I mean and you know it, Eli. Did you forget what I told you?"_

"No," Eli sighed and set the book down on the table, "It's just…"

_"It's what? You're supposed to be making her fall in love with you; not act like a dick and say dirty jokes and get her all flustered."_

"I know," Eli sighed again, running a hand through his hair, "It's just…I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. In my mind, watching her get all flustered is her falling for me."

_"Eli, Eli, Eli, it wasn't that long ago that you two fell in love; and you didn't have to be a complete jerk about it to get her to fall in love with you then…so why now? Remember what I told you Eli?"_

"I'm supposed to get her to see that she and I belong together, and to get her to leave James. I'm supposed to make her realize that we're meant to be together without telling her directly to break up with James and fall in love with me. I'm not allowed to tell her that once I get her to fall in love with me, you'll grant me the ability to live here on earth with her like any other person. People will be able to see and hear me, and I'll finally be back to being 'human' again…if I can get her to fall in love with me again."

_"She loves you already, Eli. She always has. Now you have to make her fall in love."_

"I just don't remember how to do that," Eli winced, leaning back against the couch, "I mean…when we were in high school…I don't remember doing anything special. It just sort of…happened."

"_As it should_," the voice said, "_So then maybe you should just let it happen_."

"You told me to make her fall in love with me!"

_"Yes, but you don't force it on her. Just let it happen. You do remember why we're doing this, right?"_

"Because you say Clare and I belong together. That we're soul mates; and if I can show her that, then you'll give me my life back!"

"_And because of James_," the voice reminded him.

"Because he's no good for Clare?" Eli tried to remember, but it was hard. So many thoughts were swimming around in his head.

_"He's going to hurt her, Eli. If you don't, if you can't, get her to fall back in love with you, she will never realize that you two belong together. And if she doesn't realize that, she will never leave James, and she will only get hurt by him in the long run."_

"Can you tell me how he will hurt her?" Eli asked.

_"You know I can't do that, Eli. Just…be yourself and all of that mushy nonsense and she'll fall for you again. You just need to remind her why she fell for you in the first place. That means no more inappropriate jokes, Eli. That's not really you."_

"I know," Eli blushed, "I just…I don't really remember why she fell for me. I don't remember what I did or what I said. I don't even remember who I was when I was with her. I tried so hard to forget after we broke up. I just couldn't be reminded of the pain, so I forgot everything. I blocked it out of my memory and now…now that I need to remember, I can't."

_"It's a fresh start. You'll be fine. Just remember, I didn't send you here just to save Clare, Eli. I sent you here to save yourself as well. I'm giving you a second chance. Don't take that for granted."_

"I won't."

_"Good. Now then, tomorrow just have fun with Clare and Adam. Adam really needs this, and it'll be good for all three of you to be together again. My little Misfits. Okay, well I got to go. If you need me, just say the word. Take care, Eli."_

"Thanks."

Eli sighed and glanced around the living room. Everything was so much – _too_ much – to process. He was supposed to show Clare that they belonged together, she was supposed to fall in love with him, and if they did those things, Eli would be given his life back to spend with her. If they didn't, Eli would forever remain her guardian angel in the shadows, watching while James hurt her somehow. Eli ran a hand through his hair again.

It felt like he was stuck in some crappy Hallmark knock off of _It's a Wonderful Life_. He didn't appreciate what he had, so now he has the chance to save it. Eli always hated _It's a Wonderful Life_, and now he knew why. He needed a drink. Could ghosts still drink? Could ghosts still crave the flame of liquor lapping at their throat? Eli shrugged, trying to answer his own question – maybe he still could; considering he wasn't quite full-ghost. He was this weird, caught-in-limbo being who's whole fate was resting on getting Clare to fall in love with him again.

Maybe a drink would do him some good. Clear his head a bit. Make things sane again. Eli shoved himself off the couch and headed out towards the kitchen. If he wasn't a ghost, and he wasn't an angel…what was he? Was he even anything? His head spun as he opened up the cabinet and retrieved a bottle of Vodka that was shoved way in the far back – probably reserved for if Clare and James had a party…if they ever threw parties. Whatever it was used for, Eli was certain it was not Clare's or James' poison of choice. He opened the lid of the bottle, and guzzled a sip. There was no sensation – no burning, no lightheadedness, nothing. Eli tried again with another sip. Still no dice. Growling, he put the bottle back on the cabinet shelf and returned to the couch.

_"What are you doing?"_

"You're back?"

_"You should know by now, I never really leave you, Eli."_

"Lucky me."

_"You know drinking was what got you in trouble, right? I mean, you _are_ aware of that?"_

"Yeah," Eli rolled his eyes, not really wanting to argue about this.

_"You drank to forget Clare. Well, Clare's right here, Eli. No amount of drinking is going to make all of this go away. I am sorry, but you're going to have to deal with the pain and confusion. If I could make it easier…"_

"You can. You just won't."

_"I can't without disrupting my plan, Elijah."_

"Damn it," Eli hissed, "Don't call me that!"

There was a soft chuckle, _"Alright. I'll try and remember that. Just…be careful."_

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Eli felt like he was suddenly sixteen again and being lectured by his parents. Not that his parents were ever really big on lectures; but when they were, they usually meant Eli had done something royally bad.

_"You can be a real shit, you know?" _The voice said good-naturedly, reminding Eli of his own father's.

"So I've been told."

_"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Eli. Take care."_

Eli rolled his eyes and propped his feet up on the coffee table, and waiting until morning.

After Clare had gotten James out the door and off to work, she grabbed her cellphone from the kitchen, and dialed Adam's number. Eli nervously paced around the dining room. What would Adam say? What would he think of all of this? Would he call Clare crazy? She was crazy, sure, but this was real. Wasn't it? Sometimes it felt more like a dream. Eli ran a hand through his hair, and tried to focus on controlling his emotions. He needed to calm down.

"Hello?" Clare said into the phone, "Adam?"

"Hey, Clare?"

"Yeah, I was wondering…well, if you aren't too busy today…can you come over?"

"Clare, I am pretty sure for you I can cancel plans. Just give me the address and I'll head over in a bit, is that alright? Is everything okay with you?"

"Uh…I just really need you right now," Clare answered honestly, "Things are…are a lot for me to handle right now, and I'd love if you could just come over and talk."

"Should I stop and pick up some Toffee Crunch?"

"You remembered my favorite candy," Clare's eyes lit up and Eli raised an eyebrow.

"Of course. So what do you say?"

"I say it's a date! Come on over as soon as you can! I'll text you my address."

After she hung up, Eli scurried to her side, "So he's coming?"

"Yeah," Clare sucked in a deep breath, "God, I'm nervous, Eli. What if he thinks I am absolutely insane? What if he tries to have me checked into a mental ward, Eli. Eli, I _can't_ go to a mental ward!"

"As entertaining as that may be," Eli said with a smirk, "_No one_ is going to a mental ward. And Clare, chill, okay? You're not the only one nervous here, okay? I just…I want him to be able to see me, Clare. I want to…I want to hug him."

"I know," Clare touched a hand to his shoulder, "I really am sorry. If it were up to me…I know this may be hard on you, but I am glad we can all be together again and just relax and hopefully have fun just talking. I've missed you two in my life."

"Well now you're stuck with me forever."

"Oh joy," Clare rolled her eyes playfully, "So, maybe I should fix us something to eat while Adam is here? I mean, Toffee Crunch is delicious, but we can't just have Toffee Crunch."

"Do you have Cheeze Puffz?"

"Do I _look_ like I have Cheeze Puffz?" Clare raised an eyebrow. Eli shrugged, wondering what she wanted him to say before she erupted into a fit of giggles and half-skipped/half-ran over to the pantry and retrieved an Economy-Size bag of the overly-processed fake-cheese-flavored puffs.

"Clare Edwards, you never cease to amaze me!"

Clare teasingly genuflected to Eli, "I do what I can."

Adam arrived about an hour after Clare had placed the phone call. When the doorbell rang, she felt her heart leap into her throat.

"Adam!"

"Clare!" Adam grabbed her into a huge hug. He still looked the same as in high school – tall, skinny, hallowed cheekbones. He was wearing skinny jeans, a vest, and tie. He looked like he had stepped out of GQ Magazine and Clare couldn't help but notice how handsome he was, "How are you?" Adam asked, holding her out at arm's length, "You look great!"

"Thanks, Adam. You too! I'm okay, I just wanted to talk to you about some stuff."

"Of course, of course," Adam slid his way through the front door, "I brought the goods."

"Perfect," Clare pointed towards the living room, "I have Cheeze Puffz and sodas on the table in there. How are you holding up? How was the funeral?"

Adam tossed the white grocery sack onto the coffee table and sat down on the couch next to Clare, "Well, it was interesting seeing everyone again. Bullfrog and Cece were wrecks, but I guess I should have expected that."

Clare looked to Eli who was currently leaning against the wall, an intense expression shadowed his face, and Clare could see the pain as plain as day in his features.

"Cece wants to get lunch with you," Adam kicked off his shoes and propped his feet up on the table, already comfortable in Clare's home, "I told her that'd probably be fine, and good for both of you to get together. It's tough, you know…on all of us. I can't even imagine what you're going through, Clare. I know you and Eli were pretty intense, but I also think you had some unresolved shit going on."

"Yeah," Clare blushed, feeling extremely naked with Eli in the room listening to every word, "It is definitely tough…but I have something really intense I want to tell you. And I want you to promise me something, Adam."

"Sure. Anything."

"Promise me…" Clare inhaled, trying to gain courage and stall a second longer, "…promise me that you won't think that I am crazy for telling you what I'm about to tell you."

"Oookay," Adam's brow furrowed, "But perhaps I should get some Toffee Crunch in me first." He dug a candy bar from the grocery sack, and began to nibble on the salty, sweet chocolate, "Okay…shoot."

"Okay," Clare tucked her curls behind her ears, "Well…the day of the memorial service…I was in the kitchen when all of a sudden…Eli started talking to me."

"What?" Adam's eyes practically bolted from their sockets, "_Clare_…"

"You promised," Clare reminded him sternly before continuing, "Anyways, it turns out…that Eli was…was sent to me. God…God asked him to be my guardian angel. He said we're supposed to be soul mates…but we screwed up. So now…now Eli has to watch over me. And be with me…all the time."

"_Clare_," Adam's voice was soft, bearing a taste of patronization.

"I know it sounds crazy, Adam. Believe me, I do. And if I could somehow show you, I totally would. It's just…only I can see him. And it sucks because I would much rather have you or his parents be able to see him, not me. But it's just not like that. I asked for you to come over, because well…Eli wanted to see you…and I wanted to see you again too."

"Eli…he's _here_?" Again, Adam furrowed his brow and glanced around the living room, "Clare, is this some sort of sick joke?"

"Adam, you _know_ me," Clare's eyes grabbed ahold of his, "I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't even be able to make this stuff up. He's over there," Clare pointed towards the wall, "Leaning and looking pretty concerned right now. He's been kind of stressing about this."

"You don't have to tell him that, Clare!" Eli hissed, and if looks could kill…

"_Whoa_," Adam jolted up, and glanced back towards the wall, "I swore I just…never mind."

"What?" Clare pressed, "What did you hear?"

"I thought I heard his voice," Adam shook his head, "Clare, you're crazy must be catching."

"No," Clare objected, "Please…you told me you wouldn't think I was crazy."

"Clare, you are one of my best friends…I'm _always_ going to think you're a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but that doesn't mean that I am not going to take what you say seriously. If you really believe that Eli is here right now…"

"He is, Adam! He is!"

"Then I am going to believe that too. As weird as it sounds."

"I am still one of your best friends? After all these years?"

"Always," Adam looked towards the wall, "Well buddy, I don't know what to say to you…" Adam chewed on his lower lip for a bit before saying, "...other than you're a fucking _shit_! How the _fuck_ could you drink and drive like that, you fucking _asshole_! How could you fucking go and get yourself killed like that, you goddamn piece of _shit_! I fucking_ miss you_, man! Do you know what you fucking did to me…to your _parents_! Goddamn _it_, Eli…I could just…I could just fucking _murder_ you for this!"

Adam jumped from the couch and hurried towards the wall, "I fucking can't believe you would fucking do this to us…to the ones that – for some fucked up reason – loved you! _And still love you_! You…you selfish bastard!"

As Adam was shouting, tears were pouring down his cheeks as if someone had just turned a faucet on behind his eyes. And as if in a scene from some cheesy movie, Eli turned. Clare gasped as she saw him slowly step forward to Adam and wrap his arms around him.

Adam was shouting and screaming, and when he felt the embrace, he began hitting his fists against Eli's chest, "You fucking shit! You fucking asshole! How could you fucking leave us like this? How could you fucking…" Eli held Adam tighter in his arms, and the man collapsed into the embrace.

"I'm here now," Eli said softly, "And I'm not going anywhere ever again."

**Author's Note: Oooh…a twist! So Eli suddenly appeared to Adam! Wow. Hope you all enjoyed this! Love you all! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Wow! Thank you guys so much for the awesome reviews! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

Chapter Eight

"So, let tell me again what the hell is going on here?" Adam asked. He was sitting on the couch, with Eli and Clare on either side of him.

"Well," Clare tried to explain for probably the hundredth time, "After Eli was in the crash…he went to heaven and God told him that he was sending him back down to earth to be my guardian angel. He told him that soul mates are supposed to go to heaven together, and Eli is going to watch over me until I can go to heaven with him."

"This seriously sounds like a shitty Hallmark movie," Adam put his head in his hands.

"Who you tellin'?" Eli scoffed, "I don't exactly enjoy sitting out here on the couch while Clare and her fiancé get it on in the bedroom."

"Oh God," Adam winced, "Seriously?"

Eli nodded, "Yup. And up until a few seconds ago, I was pretty sure that only Clare was the one that could see me. I don't even know how you were able to…or how I was able to touch you. This whole thing is one big cluster-fuck."

"Eli!" Clare shot him a look, "Adam, we wanted you to come here to know that Eli's okay…and we wanted to hang out again…the three of us. The Misfits back in action…what do you say?"

"Well, now that my heart rate is finally back to a healthy pace, I guess. I just…this is so much to comprehend. I…I don't even know what to think right now."

"Me either," Eli chuckled, "Look, I am sorry for drinking and driving, Adam. I really am. It was a stupid move on my part, and I wasn't thinking."

"I should have stayed with you that night," Adam rubbed hands down his face, trying to calm down, "I always stay with you to make sure you don't get yourself into trouble with your drinking…"

"Don't you dare do that," Eli put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Don't you _even_ start to think like that, alright? You're not my babysitter, Adam. Whatever mistakes I made, I was going to make them."

Adam nodded, feeling so overwhelmed with everything, "I just…I really did think I had lost you, Eli."

"Aw, hell," Eli grinned, "You two can't get rid of me that easily."

Clare stuck her tongue out at him, and he said, "Well that's mature."

"I still can't believe that this is real," Adam shook his head.

"Tell me about it," Clare sighed and grabbed a cheese puff, "So, I was thinking maybe we could all just sort of catch up. It's been years, guys. I've…well, I've missed you."

"We've missed you too," Adam admitted, "We've missed driving you absolutely crazy!" He reached over and fist-bumped Eli.

"You two are impossible!" Clare rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut up," Adam chuckled, "You know you wouldn't have it any other way. So…what should we do exactly? It's not every day I can just sit around and chill with a ghost."

"Excuse me?" Eli looked offended.

"Sorry man," Adam chuckled, "So Clare, any suggestions since you orchestrated this little playmate?"

"Um…truth or dare?"

"Sweetheart, you know better than to play that game with us," Eli reminded her as Adam raised an eyebrow, "Remember the last time we played? You had to go up to Dallas and sing Banana Phone."

"How could I forget," Clare shook her head, "I thought he was going to murder me. And don't call me 'sweetheart!'"

Eli laughed, "Yup! Well, if he had tried, it'd just give us an excuse to put him six feet under, right Adam? And Clare, I'll call you whatever I please, _Sweetheart_."

Adam nodded in agreement, "So, still want to play?"

"Of course," Clare didn't miss a beat, "Who wants to go first?"

"I'd say the dead guy gets special privileges," Eli smirked, "So Clare, truth or dare? Why am I asking, you're just going to say truth anyways."

"I was _not_ going to say truth," Clare defended, "You don't know I was going to say truth."

"You were going to say truth," Adam nodded, "We know you, Clare."

"Fine," Clare folded her arms over her chest and propped her feet up on the coffee table, "Dare."

"Oooh," Adam rubbed his hands together excitedly, "This is gonna be good!"

Eli smirked and glanced around the living room, trying to desperately come up with something extraordinarily wicked for her to do, "Hmm…I dare you to call up that fiancé of yours, and sing _If You Seek Amy_, by Brittney Spears."

"What?" Clare's eyes nearly fell out of her head, "Eli, that song is so _totally_ and _completely_ inappropriate and I am _not_ going to…"

"Her fiancé thinks a night of hot romance is a Michael Bolton CD and watching the news," Eli explained to Adam, "Clare, go ahead."

"Eli," Clare tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I don't think you understand. If You Seek Amy…_If You Seek Amy_? _F-U-C-K Me_? There is _no_ way I am going to call my fiancé and sing that song to him. James and I have…we have…"

"No sex life?" Eli suggested, shrugging casually.

"_Shut up_," Clare hissed and snagged her cellphone off the table, "Fine, I'll do it."

"This is gonna be good," Adam grinned.

Clare hopped off the couch and paced around the living room as the phone rang. She rolled her eyes, much to the delight of the two men sitting on the couch. They had their hands covering their mouths to keep from laughing too loudly.

"Hello? Clare? Honey, I'm busy right now and have a lot of work to finish up. Can you call me back later this afternoon?"

Clare inhaled a deep breath of courage before saying, "Oh baby have you seen Amy tonight?"

"What?"

"Is she in the bathroom, or is she smokin' up outside?"

"Clare…"

"Love me, hate me; say what you want about me…but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy."

"Clare this is highly inappropriate and immature behavior. I am at work. I'm going to hang up now and get back to work. Call me when you can actually behave like an adult."

Clare withdrew the phone from her ear, and glanced towards Eli and Adam with a worried look on her face, "He told me I was being immature and inappropriate and then he…he hung up on me."

"Oh hush," Eli scoffed, "I'm sure he thought it was funny. Hell, if my fiancé called me up and just started singing me shitty Brittney Spears songs, I'd probably laugh."

"Me too," Adam chimed in, "Where's since of spontaneity and goofiness?"

"James doesn't have much spontaneity, or goofiness for that matter," Clare retreated back to the couch, "I hope he's not too angry with me."

"Angry with you?" Adam raised an eyebrow, "He'd be angry over _that_?"

"Yeah," Clare blushed, "I shouldn't have gone through with that."

"The guy sounds like a real bore," Adam rolled his eyes, "What do you even see in him anyways."

Clare ran a hand through her hair before sharply turning to Eli and saying, "Eli, truth or dare."

"You didn't answer Adam's question."

"Truth, or dare?" Clare repeated persistently, "It's a simple question, Eli. Oh but I remember now, your brain can't register simple questions. Should I make you a diagram with pretty colors?"

"Dare! Damn it, woman!" Eli growled.

"Okay," Clare giggled, "I dare you to strip to your underwear and run around the living room singing I'm a Barbie Girl…"

"No!" Eli gasped.

"Oh, yes!" Clare grinned, "Now, go."

Eli groaned and stood from the couch, "Edwards, if this is just a ploy to get me out of my clothes…"

"And why _ever_ would I want to do that?" Clare batted her eyelashes innocently.

"Because you secretly still have the hots for me," Eli grinned, seductively wiggling out of the black skinny jeans.

"Okay, Magic Mike," Clare rolled her eyes, "Keep dreaming."

"You don't want to know what I dream about, Blue Eyes."

"Stop it!" Clare chucked a throw-pillow at him, "You drive me crazy!"

"Do I?" Eli asked innocently, "Why, I had no idea!"

"Stop flirting and start singing already!" Adam threw his arms up in the air, exasperatedly.

"Fine," Eli yanked his t-shirt over his head and stood there completely naked with an exception to his skull boxers, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life is plastic, it's fantastic," Eli began to skip around the living room and Adam and Clare practically fell over on top of each other in fits of laughter, "You can brush my hair, or dress me anywhere…"

"Oooh, kinky!" Adam giggled.

"Life is plastic! It's fantastic!" Then suddenly, his voice dropped and he barked, "Come on Barbie, let's go party!" Then his voice raised several octaves as he exaggeratedly sang, "Ooh, ooh, oooh yeah! Am I done now?" He asked.

"Yes," Clare choked out between giggles.

"You're gonna pay for that one," Eli threateningly pointed a finger at her, then tapped her on the nose before taking his seat, "Adam, looks like you're up next!"

"Okay…" Adam bit his lower lip, "Clare…truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Okay," Adam glanced from Eli to Clare, then back to Eli and to Clare again, before mischievously saying, "I dare you to…kiss Eli."

**Dun, dun, dun, duuuun! I promise, Adam has a great explanation for this one!**


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: WOW! I never expected so many reviews! You all are awesome! I'll make you a deal, if you awesome people keep reviewing, I'll keep popping out awesome chapters! How does that sound? Haha no really, I never ask for reviews. You all just feel compelled to do so, and that really does mean a lot to me!

Chapter Nine

Eli's jaw fell lax, and it took him a moment to gather his thoughts and process what had just happened. He shook his head, stunned, then snapped his fingers and pointed towards the hallway, "You. Me. Bathroom. _Now_."

"But this was just getting good," Adam protested. Eli gave him his best don't-push-me look he had learned from Bullfrog, and Adam reluctantly stood up from the couch.

"And you," Eli turned to Clare and pointed a threatening finger at her, "_Stay_."

"Eli," Clare protested, but her argument fell on deaf ears as Eli firmly placed his hands on Adam's shoulders and guided him to the bathroom. Once inside, and safely behind a closed and locked door, Eli folded his arms over his chest, leaned against the counter, and said, "So, care to explain what the hell that was about?"

"Come on," Adam rolled his eyes, "It's a dare. You have to do what you're dared. Don't chicken out, Eli. You're the one that gives everyone crap for not carrying out dares."

"This is different," Eli frowned, "Now, why would me kissing Clare ever even cross your mind?"

"Because," Adam tried to explain, "It's really obvious."

"Well excuse me for not catching on," Eli rolled his eyes, "Try to explain to some one of my intelligence."

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it, ass," it was Adam's turn to roll his eyes, "Just…I know you still care for her, Eli. Every night I'd come over, you'd find some excuse to bring her up. You never got over her. Seeing the two of you together again…I don't know…I thought daring you to kiss her would help give you guys a second chance. I thought once you kissed…you'd realize y'all are supposed to be together, and everything would be good again."

Eli ran a hand through his hair before pushing himself on top of the counter top, "Wow," his eyes bulged, and he didn't exactly know what to say, "_Seriously_?"

"Don't be mad," Adam winced and sat down on the edge of the tub, "I just…you two were so perfect in high school. I don't want to be all mushy, but when you two got back together your senior year, I really thought that'd be it. I thought you two would get married and pump out a bunch of brats – beautiful girls like Clare, but with attitudes like yours. I thought I'd be an Uncle Adam, and I would spoil the hell out of them. I thought it was finally…but then you broke up with her after graduation and I couldn't believe it. It had only been a few months, but you were scared and I think she was too. I just…I wanted to give you guys a second chancing. Seeing you today, happy – genuinely happy – for the first time in years…I just wanted to…"

"Oh Adam," Eli tilted his head back, "Why are you always so right?"

"Wait…what?"

"I still _love_ her Adam. Damn me for it, but I do. And I think I always will. She's Clare, and I'm Eli. There doesn't have to be reason, sense, or logic. I just know that I love her, and that's all I need to know. I want to get her back, Adam…but I am a guardian angel now, or whatever the hell I am. It's not so simple. I can't just…I can't just kiss her and have it all be back to high school again."

Adam sighed, "Not high school again, but what you're supposed to be _now_. You two are flirting like crazy. It's pretty intense. She _totally_ wants to kiss you."

"She's engaged you little perv," Eli rolled his eyes, "There will be no kissing."

"But I dared you," Adam smirked, and raised an eyebrow.

"God damn it," Eli hissed, "Why are you doing _that_? That's _my_ thing!"

"Pretty irresistible, huh?"

"No," Eli folded his arms over his chest and stared at his best friend, passively, "Doesn't faze me."

"Then this might," Adam's smirk grew into a grin, "I _dared_ you, Eli. I _dared_ you to kiss Clare. Remember? It was a _dare_. Which means, there is _no turning back_. No going back. Jump in with both feet, and never look back. I _dared_ you, and now, well…we all know what happens when someone dares someone – they have to do whatever they are told to do. Unless of course it's something fuckin' stupid that get the other one hurt or killed…but it's a _kiss_, Eli. One little, bitty, teeny, tiny _kiss_."

Eli's eyes shrunk to slits, and he glared at Adam. Eli and Adam both knew that Adam was getting to him, and Eli let out a throaty growl, "Adam, this is _absolutely_ stupid. I am not going to kiss Clare Edwards!"

"She's gorgeous, Eli. She always has been. And she still looks at you like you're the world."

"Stop it," Eli snarled, "I don't want to hear this."

"Why not?"

"Because," Eli sighed, "Maybe I want to get back together with her too? I am a ghost or something…it's weird and it's not as easy as you make it sound. This isn't some Hallmark or Lifetime movie. This is real, as messed up as it is. This is real, and this is not easy. I can't just kiss her and have her realize all these feelings come flooding back."

"But…"

"Adam, one kiss isn't going to change anything. One kiss isn't going to make anything better."

"Grow a pair, and try!"

"Don't," Eli rolled his eyes, "Don't even start."

"What's _that_ mean?"

"Nothing," Eli sighed, "Did that sound like a jab?"

"Because it's you, no," a shadow of a smile crossed Adam's face, "What scares you so much about finally being happy, Eli?"

"Scared?"

"Yeah, you're scared. You're scared of finally being happy! You're scared of finally being with Clare!"

"I am _not_ scared," Eli scoffed, "Eli Goldsworthy doesn't get scared."

"Except when it's Clare Edwards involved," Adam reminded him.

"Okay," Eli's eyes fell to the tile floor, "Maybe you're not quite as much of an ignoramus and I say you are," he admitted, "So what am I supposed to do, huh? Just go in there and grab her and kiss her?"

"Do what feels right."

"Don't get all romantic on me," Eli warned, "Fine. I'll go out and I'll kiss her. But it'll only prove to you how dumb this is; especially when that kiss doesn't change shit, alright?"

"I knew you'd cave," Adam grinned.

"Don't make me beat you."

"I can _so_ take you."

"I'm a ghost. That means I have stealth powers."

"You're just making that up!"

"Fine," Eli's face suddenly got all serious, "But, if you really want to know…they're _ninja powers_!"

Adam shook his head, "And you say _I'm_ the idiot?"

"Shut up," Eli grinned as he and Adam stood up. He swung his arm over his best friend's shoulders.

"There you two are," Clare said as they finally emerged from the hallway, "I was about to send out a search squad. Now that you two are done doing whatever the heck two grown men do alone in a restroom, are we going to finish playing, or what?"

"Well I don't know," Eli sat down next to her, before pulling her over to him, "Why don't you get over here and find out?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

They kissed. Adam took intent interest in the carpeting as Eli and Clare shared their first kiss in ten years. Clare hadn't known what to expect, and she had surprised herself in wanting to kiss him as badly as she did.

Their kiss was hungry and desperate. It was as if they had both been starved of a necessity for ten years, and were finally getting a taste. Eli wrapped his fingers in her curls as he held her head in his hand. It was a greedy kiss, and desperate for power. It was like they were caught in the middle of a fight, passionate and slightly violent. Eli sucked her bottom lip sharply, and Clare ran her teeth over his tongue.

Adam didn't expect the kiss to last as long as it was. He had assumed they'd kiss and pull away, shy and a little embarrassed; then they would go on to later discuss their unresolved feelings. This was not what he had expected, not at all. They were moaning and Clare was practically in Eli's lap.

"_Ahem_," Adam cleared his throat; not sure if he wanted them to stop because he was tired of hearing (because he had some tact to not watch) them kiss, or if it was on account of the fact that he was bored and wanted another source of entertainment.

Clare pulled away from Eli first, and seemed to snap back to reality. She ran her thumb along her swollen, somewhat bruised bottom lip. She seemed to just now realize where she was and what she had just done. Crimson blotted her cheeks, and she scooted away from Eli and to the opposite end of the couch. She tucked her curls behind her ears, and stared down at her hands.

Eli ran a hand threw his hair and his eyes were wide as he turned to Adam as if to say, "I don't know what the hell just happened, but thanks." No one said anything for a while, and it was starting to drive Adam crazy.

"So you suck face, and now you aren't even gonna speak?"

"Adam," Clare nibbled on her nail, "I-I have a fiancé."

"So?"

"So, kissing Eli was…was…"

"Was what, Clare?" Eli turned on her, "Hmm? What was kissing me?"

"It was…"

"Don't even dare say the word '_wrong_' because I know for a fact that you wanted to kiss me, Edwards. And you seemed to be enjoying yourself quite a bit."

"But it _was_ wrong. I am engaged. When he put this ring on my finger, I made a promise…"

"It's an engagement ring," Adam rolled his eyes, "Not a wedding band."

"But it's still a _promise_," Clare objected, "I shouldn't have done that. I uh…I got caught up in the moment. It was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it."

"Ouch," Eli looked hurt.

"And _you_," Clare pointed at Adam.

"Hey, don't get mad at me!"

"You were the one that made this dare!"

"Because you two needed to kiss."

"Well now we did, and now it's awkward."

"Only because you're making it," Adam explained, "Just stop. You wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss you. You kissed. Big whoop."

"_Very_ big whoop," Clare's eyes narrowed in on Adam, "He's a ghost."

"And another ouch, right in the heart too," Eli dramatically clutched his fist to his chest.

Clare ignored him, "I have a fiancé. A future husband. And I just cheated on him."

"Yeah, with your soul mate."

"Adam," Eli held up a hand, "Clearly Clare has been lacking in kisses for quite some time now…"

"James kisses me," Clare argued, but her point fell on deaf ears.

"He doesn't know anything about romancing her, or how to make her feel special. He doesn't know the little things, like how kissing her neck drives her crazy or how…"

"You can stop now," Clare was growing furious. But at whom? Was she angry at Eli? How could she be, when she was just as guilty? Was she angry at the things he was saying about her relationship with James? Of course, but even Clare had to admit, they were true.

"So, because she's been romantically neglected – poor thing – she has no idea of a good kiss when one happens to her. Quite tragic really."

"Stop it," Clare begged.

"I kissed her probably in a way she hasn't been kissed in a good ten years, and the ungrateful little brat…"

"Hey!"

" – oh, it's not _your_ fault, Clare. It's your fiancé's. Because he hasn't kissed you properly – kissed you the way you deserve to be kissed on a daily basis – your sense of all things romantic has gone into a severe coma. Don't worry, it's not dead…yet. But when you aren't treated romantically, you start to not know how to react when, suddenly, you are."

"That is not true," Clare folded her arms over her chest, and right when the words tumbled from her lips, she knew they were a lie, "James can be extraordinarily romantic, Eli. _Extraordinarily_!"

"And what happened last time you thought a guy was so extraordinary?" Eli raised an eyebrow.

"Oh you _didn't_," Adam's eyes widened and Clare's cheeks deepened to a crimson shade.

"What did you just say to me?" Clare demanded, "Did you just bring _him_ into this?"

"Possibly."

"Dude…_why_?" Adam tossed his head back in frustration.

"Last time you thought a guy was so great, he sexually harassed you, Clare. Remember that? Remember how scared you were?"

"You're…you're an ass."

"She's right on this one, man," Adam winced, "Just drop it."

"No, why should I?" Eli asked, already on a roll and not really planning to stop anytime soon, despite what either of them said, "You enjoyed that kiss, Edwards. That vein in your neck was pulsing like crazy and I am pretty sure there were a few moans."

"You're a pig."

"Yes, but a pig you still seem to be 'extraordinarily' attracted to."

"Can we just get on with playing truth or dare?" Adam asked, hopefully. He hated seeing them fight like this, and the tension was so heavy in the living room, that it even made it harder to breathe.

"You two can play," Clare stood from the couch and brushed off her jeans, "I am going out."

"Out? Out where?" Adam asked, "You can't just leave when you invited me to come over and hang out. Rude."

"Sorry," Clare grabbed her bag off of a peg by the door, "I just can't be in here with him. Adam, I'll call you later or something."

"Where are you going?" Eli asked, "As your guardian angel thing, I am entitled to know."

"To take James some lunch. I need to be with my fiancé right now. Don't bother trying to follow me. I don't care about this guardian angel crap; I just want to be left alone."

"Left alone, yet you're going to see your fiancé."

"Yes. I just want…I want you to leave me alone, Eli," Clare shrugged into a jacket as she said, "It's not fair. I don't see you for ten years. Then I read in the paper that you're dead, and I was…I was crushed. I couldn't believe it. Then, on the day of your memorial service, you are standing here in my apartment. I can't…I just…it's too much, Eli. And then we kiss. I make-out with a ghost, or an angel or whatever you are."

"_Whatever I am?_" Eli followed her to the door, "What do you mean '_whatever I am_?' I'm Eli and you're Clare. What more do you need to know?"

"I-I have to go," Clare swung the door open and headed out towards the garage, "Make sure Adam eats something. He's not just going to eat junk food. There's some turkey in the fridge."

"When will you be home?" Eli asked.

"When I feel like coming home," Clare shut the door behind her and headed out to her silver Camry. Once inside the safety of the car, she locked the door and wiped at the tears that were running down her cheeks. She couldn't believe that all of this was happening. Everything was just too much for her to deal with right now.

She was falling for Eli again…the ghost of Eli…and she was falling dangerously fast. It wasn't okay to fall for anyone when you were engaged, much less the ghost of your exboyfriend and first true love. Clare pulled her hair back and fastened it with a tie. Her head began to spin and she felt dizzy. She was falling for Eli. She had fallen for Eli.

She knew she had fallen for him since before the kiss. When she had first heard of his death, she knew that it wasn't normal to be so emotionally destroyed over the death of a boyfriend she dated for about two years. But she was. It had completely mutilated her to hear of Eli's death. She wasn't over him, she was far from being over him.

Then he had appeared back in her life so suddenly, and when she saw him standing there, she couldn't believe it. Maybe everything about him being her soul mate was right. Maybe they were being given some sort of obscure second – third – chance at what they had had. Maybe…maybe this was all happening because she was supposed to be Eli.

Clare turned the AC on the car and tried to let the vents dry her tears and keep the makeup from running all over the place. She couldn't be with Eli. How could she be with a ghost? A ghost she could see, feel, touch. A ghost that made her feel more than her fiancé had ever made her…

Clare shook the thought from her head. No, she was not going to allow herself to feel these things, to think these things. Eli was a ghost. An obnoxious, cynical, pig of a ghost…but still…what she felt with him…she did feel more with him than she had ever felt with James. With just one glance, Eli could make her skin prickle and her head swim in emotions. With one sentence, he could have Clare question everything, and at the same time, trust anything.

Eli made her feel so much, so much that it was almost too much. With James, everything was vanilla, plain and ordinary. Sweet, still good, but plain and ordinary. Something in the pit of her stomach began to churn – something familiar. Something she hadn't really felt since she was dating Jake.

Regret.

She turned up the radio, and decided to let the indie music streaming from the speakers take her to another place, a place in which all these feelings of confusion and regret didn't exist. She drove off to James' favorite fast food restaurant to pick him up some lunch. That's what fiancés did, right? They brought each other lunch. And he had been working so hard, he deserved a special treat.

Clare paid for the burger, onion rings, and Sprite, and drove off to the bank where James' worked. She hadn't gone to see him at work since they had first started dating, and she felt good about it. This was what fiancés did. Clare adjusted her curls, checked her makeup, and grabbed the paper bag of food before heading inside the huge heavy, glass doors. The bank was huge, not the little bank Clare had been used to going to before James came into her life. There were three stories, and James' was on the second. Clare walked past the statue of some famous person she couldn't name, and headed towards the shiny brass elevators. Her sneakers squeaked on the marble flooring, and the janitor who was polishing one of the elevator doors glared at her as if her squeaking sneakers were there to specifically annoy him.

Clare pressed the number TWO and rode up to the floor where James' office was. She didn't know much about his position in the bank, but she remembered he had said he worked with loans. She made her way down the hallway, thankful for the burgundy carpeting and no squeaking sneakers. When she arrived at his office door, she ran her fingertips along the plaque next to the door, _James Hammond. _ Hammond. Clare didn't like that name too much. It reminded her of ham and almonds – not a good combination. Maybe if they got married, she could keep her maiden name.

When. When they got married.

She turned the door knob and headed inside. The waiting room housed two overly stuffed, black leather couches and three arm chairs. She went up to the glass window where the receptionist sat, and no one was there. There was a small silver bell with a note that said, "Please ring for service." Clare pressed the knob of the bell twice, and turned to sit until someone was available.

She could hear laughing. The receptionist's laughter. Clare found a magazine on the coffee table and began to flip through the glossy pages, bored with the articles and completely uninterested in the photographs. Finally, the receptionist appeared in her window.

"Can I help you?" She asked, and Clare noticed her hair was kind of a rat's nest. Maybe she had just come in from lunch. It was kind of windy outside.

"Yes, I am here to see James."

"Mr. Hammond?"

"James – my fiancé," Clare lifted up the bag of food, "I brought him some lunch."

"Oh," the blond looked slightly embarrassed, "Uh…sure. He's free right now; you can just take it in right now."

"Thank you," Clare stood from the couch and headed through the wooden door into James' office. He was sitting at his desk staring at a computer screen, his hair sort of ruffled as well, when Clare walked, "Hey honey. I brought you some…"

"What are you doing here?" James looked up from the computer and glared at Clare.

"I thought I'd bring you some lunch."

"I already ate. I thought I told you not to bother me while I was at work, Clare?"

"Oh, well your receptionist said that you were free and I…" Clare felt herself overwhelmed with embarrassment. She felt as though she had just broken some huge rule and now James was angry at her for doing so.

"I already ate," James waved her away with his hand, "Just take it home."

"Honey…"

"Clare, don't come in here like this again. When you're working on your writing, I don't come in and bother you to no end."

"I didn't know lunch would be such a big deal," Clare's smile faded and she wanted nothing more than to leave that office and head home.

"Well it is."

"Were you…were you and your receptionist…" Clare started to ask the question that had been playing in the back of her mind.

"Clare, I can't believe you would make such immature and uninformed accusations," James turned back to the computer, "I have a lot of work to do. I'll see you at home."

Clare sat the steaming bag of food in the middle of his desk and stormed out of the office. Her brain felt completely flooded with emotions. She had no idea what she had just witnessed, or what was going on. She felt dizzy and sick to her stomach. Something wasn't right though. Something was really, really wrong. Clare hurried out to her car as fast her legs and the elevator would allow her. Once inside, she locked the door and began to sob.

Everything was so terribly screwed up. First the thing with Eli, and now this. It was too much for her to handle. All of a sudden, her whole life – everything she had known for months felt like a lie. She had never felt so confused, so lost, and so alone.

Right when she thought that, her phone began to ring. Clare cursed before trying to dig the thing from within the confines of her purse. Finally she found it, and on the seventh ring, she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi. What's going on?"

"Eli? What…what do you mean?"

"Something's wrong. It comes with the whole guardian angel thing, Edwards. You were upset when you left, but this is different. This is bigger. What happened? Are you hurt?"

"Is she alright?" Clare could hear Adam on the other end.

"Shut up," Eli hissed at him, "Clare, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Clare lied, "I'm fine. I'll just be home in a second. Don't worry."

"I _always_ worry about you," Eli said firmly, "Want to talk about it?"

"I'm sorry you're my guardian angel," Clare wiped furiously at the tears, "I am sorry you have to worry about me."

"Clare, I worried about you long before I became your guardian angel," Eli chuckled, but it wasn't a happy chuckle at all, "Now please, Clare, you're scaring me. What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm just being neurotic," Clare tried to smile, but the tears only poured out even more, "Nothing happened. I am just being immature and…"

"What are you talking about?" Eli pressed.

"I-I accused James of having an affair."

"_Shit_," Eli hissed, "Well…is he?"

"I think so. I mean, it's pretty obvious."

"Well, if it's pretty obvious…_crap_, Clare."

"It probably was nothing. I probably just made a big fuss out of nothing."

"Clare, come home please."

"Okay, but really it's no big deal…"

"Clare,_ come home_."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Yay for long chapters! Dedicating this one to the beautiful eclarefanxxx. Thanks girl, for your kind words and support! Hope you enjoy this one! **

Chapter Elven

"He told me I couldn't tell her this…hell, I don't even know if I can tell you," Eli ran a hand through his hair as he paced around the living room, "But he told me Clare and I had made a mistake, and this was our chance to make it right. He said that…that James' would hurt her if I didn't make her see what a mistake she's making. I screwed up, Adam. I was supposed to protect her, and I didn't."

"Hold up," Adam tried to comfort his best friend, "We don't know what exactly happened. Maybe Clare herself doesn't even really know what happened this afternoon. Let's just wait until she gets home. Then we can figure this all out."

"I am supposed to protect her, Adam. Hell, I was supposed to protect her ten years ago, and I failed then too. I failed so many times, and I failed again today. What is he thinking, making _me_ her guardian angel?"

"When I was a kid, we learned in Sunday School that he has a thing for misfits. He picks people who are flawed and imperfect all the time."

Eli raised an eyebrow, "How can he trust me with her, Adam?"

The front door swung open and Clare walked in. Her nose and eyes were red, and she dropped her bag and keys to the floor, not even caring enough to put them away. Eli and Adam were instantly by her side. They stood there staring at each other for a moment before Clare walked over to Eli, wrapped her arms around him, and clung to him.

"Shh," Eli smoothed her curls, "It's alright, Clare. Everything's going to be alright. Why don't you just tell me what happened."

Clare nodded and pulled away from the hug; she wiped her eyes and said, "When I went into his office, his receptionist wasn't there so I rang the bell on the desk. When she came out…her hair was kind of messy. But I shrugged it off. She…she told me that I could go on inside his office. So I did…and he was so mad to see me. His hair was a mess too…and he yelled at me for showing up…and told me he didn't want me bothering him at…at work. I thought about how weird it was…and how he had been gone with work and meetings so often…so I asked him if he had…had done anything with his receptionist. He called me immature…and told me he'd see me at home."

"Wow," Adam put a hand on Clare's shoulder, "I'm no expert, but it _definitely_ sounds like something is up."

"I am so sorry, Clare," Eli twisted a curl around his index finger, "You don't deserve that."

"I just don't know what I am going to do. We're engaged! Our families…my mother and Darcy have started planning the wedding…I just don't know what I am going to do!"

"You're going to take your stuff, and come stay with me," Adam said adamantly, "I don't want to hear any arguments on that, Clare."

"I can't ask you to do that," Clare blushed, "I'm not your problem."

"You're never a problem," Eli told her, "I know you might not want to hear this right now, but at least this happened now as opposed to you two already being married."

"I guess you're right. It's just…so much is changing. I thought everything was going so smoothly. Now…everything is upside down."

"I know. Come on, we'll help you get your things together. You don't need to be here when James comes home. You don't ever have to see him again if you don't want to."

Clare touched the gold cross around her neck, "Everything happens for a reason right? I guess this is just God's plan…but I just…I don't know what I am supposed to do."

"You're not alone," Adam smiled at her, "You have us. We're here for you, and we're going to get through all of this together."

"I need to call my mom."

"After you get settled at my place. Let's just get your stuff together right now. I have a spare guest bedroom you can use until you figure something else out. You can stay there as long as you need, Clare."

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's get you packed up."

Together they went through the house, putting Clare's stuff into boxes and suitcases. She didn't have much, and everything managed to fit. She tried not to cry as the guys helped her pack her things away, but it was difficult. This apartment was her home. She and James had bought it together when they had first gotten engaged. She packed her laptop away and ran her hand over the desk.

"I was working on a novel here," Clare told Eli and Adam, "And doing some side jobs with my writing. I majored in creative writing and journalism. James told me I didn't have to work. I miss work."

"Now you'll get to," Eli nodded at the box in his hands, and Clare plopped the laptop inside.

"Thank you guys for helping me with all of this."

"Of course. Where else would we be?" Adam asked, accidentally dropping a glass paper weight he had been tossing in his hands, "_Shit_! Sorry, Clare!"

"That's okay, it's just James'. Something cheap the bank gave to him for Christmas or something," Clare looked down at the ring on her finger, "I guess I should take this off, huh?"

"That's a huge diamond. You could get some good money for that."

"Adam, I am _not_ selling my ring. Maybe…maybe I'll just hold on to it for a bit. I can wear it on the other hand, right?" She slipped the ring off and put it on her opposite hand. Eli and Adam exchanged a look.

"I will write a note and explain to him that I am staying with a friend."

"You don't owe him anything," Eli reminded her, "You can just leave and never look back."

"I want to," Clare grabbed a sheet of printer paper and penned her note. As she was writing, she couldn't help but let the tears she had been desperately holding in, escape. Everything was just so much for her to handle. Handling stress had never been her strong suit but this…this was more than Clare could ever imagine. Everything was so overwhelming, and she felt her legs wobble underneath her. She grasped on to the edge of the desk for support.

"Are you okay?" Ada looked up from where he was trying to pick up the larger shards of broken glass with his hands, "Do you want to sit for a minute?"

"No, I'm fine," Clare lied and continued with her note. At first, she had no idea what to even say to the man who had, at one time, been her future husband. When he had put that ring on her finger, they had both seen it as a promise and had taken it so seriously. And here she had been, just a few hours earlier, making out with her ex-boyfriend, and feeling completely terrible about it. She had felt her insides rot with the guilt of what she had done. And then there was James, off doing Lord knows what with his receptionist, for Lord knows how long. The very thought made Clare sick inside.

Eli was right, she didn't owe him anything; however, as she was writing the letter, she thought of it more as something for herself. Writing the letter allowed her to put to words everything that was racing through her head. It allowed her a moment to gather those thoughts, and take a breath. Once she was done, she asked:

"Do you guys want me to read it out loud?"

"You don't have to," Eli told her, "It's something just between you and James."

"Eh, I kinda wanted to hear…ow," Adam winced as Eli kicked him in the shin.

"It's between her, and James," Eli said firmly, "It's _none_ of our business."

"I want to read it," Clare explained, before clearing her throat and reciting, "James – I struggled a bit with determining rather or not to write this letter, or any letter, to you for that matter. I have no words to say to you that would be any sort of consolation for myself, or any explanation for you. Just know that after what I saw today, I cannot stay here anymore. I'll be staying at a friend's house, and I will be looking for a job soon. I wish you all the best, James. I really do. But what is going to happen when you grow tired of the receptionist? You tired of me, so you moved on to her. But who will be after her? The janitor, Helga, at the bank? Think about that for a moment, James. Clare."

"Wow," Adam's eyes were wide and he nodded his approval, "Nicely done!"

"You think?" Clare grimaced self-consciously, "It's not too much?"

"It's perfect," Eli put a hand on her shoulder, "Anything else you want to take with you?"

"Yes," Clare patted the dog at her feet, "Winston is mine. I was the one that went to the humane society to get him. I was the one that begged James to let us have a pet. Winston is mine."

Adam looked down at the dog, "Alright. As long as he doesn't poop in the house."

"Winston is _way_ more civilized than that," Clare knelt down and hugged the dog closer to her, "Aren't you, baby? And besides, he and Eli have become best friends since Eli showed up here."

"Is that right?" Adam raised an eyebrow at Eli.

"He's not _that_ bad," Eli shrugged, "So, are we ready? I mean, if you need more time Clare, that's fine…"

"No, I'm ready. I think we have everything packed up that's mine. I don't really want to stay in this apartment a second longer. Do you have enough room in your car for all of this and all of us?" Clare turned to Adam, suddenly feeling guilty that she was putting such a burden on him.

"I am sure it'll be fine," he assured her, "And if not, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making a few trips. Here, Eli and I will carry the boxes if you want to have a moment."

Clare greatly appreciated that. As Eli and Adam were loading up the boxes, she walked through the apartment. It wasn't a typical apartment – it was actually the size of a small house, and it had been her home for about two years. She started in the kitchen. When they had first moved in, James loved helping her cook. They'd have fun making new recipes together, with Winston at their feet just waiting for something to spill so that he could take over the daunting task of cleaning it up.

She headed into the dining room, where they had shared meals and talked casually about each other's days. She smiled as she remembered how Eli stood over her and told her inappropriate jokes while they were having dinner. Next, Clare made her way into the living room. She had taken all her framed photographs, and the room seemed barren without them. James hadn't been fond of them anyways.

Clare headed into the bedroom. The bedroom had been a safe haven for her with the huge bathroom attached and luxurious bedding. She would hide in there sometimes, using migraines or stomach pains as an excuse to hide away in there as escape James. There hadn't been anything necessarily "wrong" with him, but sometimes there were days where Clare couldn't stand the sight of him. She had known that wasn't a good sign, but they were engaged and honestly, she didn't really think at the time that there was a way out. She had felt stuck. She had made her bed, and she had felt like she had to lie in it – no matter what.

Winston nudged her leg with his nose as they stood in the middle of the bedroom together, "I'm sorry to take you away from this apartment," she apologized, scratching his ears, "You loved this bed, and the couch in the living room. But I am sure Adam's couch is just as good, right? You'll learn to like it, and eventually, you and I will get our own place. You and me, and Eli."

And Eli. Clare's brow furrowed at that. How did she even feel about all of this? How did Eli feel about all of this? She knew her reaction to their kiss had hurt him, but she had been so confused – and still was. At the moment, Clare didn't know what to think, or feel. She felt lost.

_I don't want it to be like this_, Clare nibbled her bottom lip – it was still sore from their kiss, _I want to like Eli again. I want to want to like Eli again. I do…I do like him. After everything, I am still head-over-heels for him. But I don't want to be. He's a ghost…or whatever he is. I can't have a relationship with a ghost. And even if I did, he still drives me completely crazy. Things seemed fine before he had to die and come back. But if he didn't, I would still be with James and he would still be cheating on me, and I'd be oblivious and alone._

"Are you ready?" Eli asked, peering into the bedroom, "If you need more time…"

"I'm ready," Clare hooked Winston's collar to the leash, "Just saying one last goodbye."

"Clare, I am sorry all of this is happening. Really. I know it's a lot on your plate right now."

"I'm fine," Clare lied, pushing herself up from the carpet she was kneeling on, "Let's get out of here."

They piled into Adam's station wagon – somehow all being able to fit in amongst the boxes and the dog. Adam and Clare were certain they could probably put a few boxes on top of Eli, but decided that probably wouldn't be the most respectful thing they could do. Clare sat in the backseat with Winston, and stared out the window and the apartment complex as Adam drove away. She didn't even feel sad that she was leaving. If anything, she felt numb.

They arrived at Adam's place – a small duplex he was renting. However, it would be just enough for them all to stay there. Together, they unloaded the car, and Adam gave Clare the grand tour. She would be staying in the guest room, and was pleased to discover that it had its own bathroom attached. Sharing a bathroom with Adam was not high on her list of things she necessarily wanted to do.

After getting everything situated (piling the boxes up in the guest room, and feeding Winston), Adam ordered pizzas for everyone. Eli suggested they have a movie marathon, and watch their favorites – Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and Dark Knight Rises. Eli had a thing for Christopher Nolan.

"You would want to watch your boyfriend's movies," Clare teased as she nibbled her pizza, earning herself a smack in the face with one of the cushions from Adam's couch.

"Shut up," Eli rolled his eyes, "There's nothing wrong with admiring the man."

"Man-crush," Adam grinned, and Eli threw the pillow at him next.

They watched their movies and ate their pizza, and tried not to get too frustrated with Eli as he went on and on about the script, lighting, directing, acting, etc. After watching the movies, Clare yawned and Adam suggested that they hit they hay. Eli stretched out on the couch and Clare told the guys goodnight before heading into the guest room.

She dug her pajamas out of the suitcase, and changed. After crawling into bed, she patted the mattress, calling Winston up to lie down with her. It felt odd, lying in the guest bed…not being in her own bed. She wrapped an arm over Winston and cuddled close to the dog. It took her a moment to realize tears were rolling down her cheeks.

This wasn't what she had expected her life to be. She hadn't been extremely happy with James, but she had been content. Or had she been? Maybe she had been blind to everything, and it took Eli to make her realize that. Clare bit down on her pillow to keep from sobbing. Everything was so upside down. She would have to call her parents and let them know that the wedding was off. How would she even explain that? It was mortifying.

Clare felt her stomach church and she bit down harder on the pillow until her teeth and jaws ached with the pressure. She didn't want Adam or Eli to hear her crying. Winston snorted, and Clare felt like Alice in Wonderland when she spun and tumbled and slipped and fell down the rabbit hole. Confusion, craziness…nothing was the same. And nothing ever would be.

Her first true love had died. He had come back as her guardian angel. He had to be with her constantly to watch over and protect her. They had kissed. She had kissed her guardian angel. And she had loved it. It was the best kiss she had had in ten years. And then she had found out her fiancé was cheating on her, and now she had to cancel the wedding and inform every one of her family and friends that it was over. Everything she had known was over.

Clare furiously wiped at the tears, angry at herself crying. Why was she even so upset? At least James, the jerk of her ex-fiancé was finally out of the picture. Now she could move on. But that scared her. Having to pick herself up and brush herself off and start all over frightened her to pieces.

The bedroom door creaked open and Eli called to her, "Clare?"

Mortification flooded over her, and Clare quickly rolled over so that her back was to him, "Eli, please. I just want to get some sleep."

"I just want to make sure that you're okay," Eli stood in the doorway, "If you want to talk…"

"I just want to rest."

"You've been crying," Eli said, matter-of-factly as he shut the bedroom door.

"No, that's not true."

"I can hear it in your voice; you've been crying."

"Fine, sit," Clare scooted over, giving him room to sit on the bed.

"We don't have to talk. I will just stay with you until you fall asleep – is that okay?"

"That's perfect," Clare smiled in spite of herself, "Please stay."

"I will," Eli laid down on the bed, and Clare felt it sink under his weight.

"How do I feel you?" Clare asked, "How do you have weight?"

"I have no idea," Eli chuckled, "I don't know how any of this is working. I am just as confused and weirded out by all of this as the next person."

"I'm glad you're here with me," Clare admitted.

"Me too, hon," Eli said, rubbing her back with his fingertips. Clare was surprised by the nickname, but relaxed into his touch. Eli winced, feeling like a moron, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That was inappropriate," Eli said, tracing his fingers along her back.

"Eli, we made out a few hours ago. Calling me 'hon' is perfectly fine."

He grinned, doodling little swirls, "Good to know. I've missed you, Clare."

"I've missed you too, Eli. Everything just is so crazy right now but I'm glad…I'm glad you're here with me," Clare's voice cracked, and Eli felt a sharp pang.

"Hey, hey now," Eli stopped rubbing her back and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come here," Clare rolled over and faced him. Their noses were practically touching. Eli reached up and wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb, "Don't do that."

"I'm sorry, I'm a crying mess."

"That's not the problem," Eli smiled a sad smile, "Seeing you cry, it's always broken my heart, Clare Edwards."

Clare didn't really know what to say to that, "I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad," Eli apologized.

"No, it's fine," Clare tried to smile a tight smile, "I don't like seeing you cry either," Clare reached up and gently touched her fingertips to the puffy part of Eli's cheek that was damp.

"I didn't know ghosts could cry."

"They probably can't; but guardian angels can."

"I just want you to be okay, Clare. I am your guardian angel. I was supposed to protect you from getting hurt, and I failed you."

"You didn't fail," Clare scooted closer to him, "Maybe you're job isn't supposed to be there to protect me from being hurt; but rather be there for me to help me find my strength when I do get hurt."

Eli nodded, liking the sound of that, "I just wish I could protect you."

"You being here is more than I could ever imagine asking for," Clare reached up and ran her hand through his hair, "Thank you."

Eli blushed and Clare couldn't help but smile. Rarely did Eli show much modesty, but sometimes with Clare, a blush or a shy glance would just so happen to appear.

"I know you don't sleep, but could you please stay here with me for tonight."

"I wouldn't dream of going anywhere else," Eli twisted a curl around his finger.

"Thank you, Eli. How are you so amazing?"

"_Just_ amazing?" Eli raised a teasing eyebrow. Clare rolled her eyes, and he dropped his head so that his nose was touching hers, "Surely I am more than _just_ amazing, Edwards."

"Could your ego possibly be any bigger?"

"Oh yes," Eli said plainly, "Would it be weird if I told you you're so incredibly beautiful right now?"

Clare blushed, "Would it be weird if I told you I wanted to kiss you again right now?"

"How about we wait on that," Eli traced his thumb along her bottom lip, "You're hurting right now because of James. We kissed before James, and we'll kiss again, but how about we just wait until tomorrow. I just want to make sure you're kissing me for the right reasons, and not because of James."

Clare felt a huge amount of respect and appreciation for Eli at that moment, even if she was a tad disappointed that she didn't get her kiss, "Thank you."

"Of course. Tomorrow, we can make up that kiss, alright?"

"I'll look forward to it."

"Me too," Eli nuzzled his nose against hers, "What are we going, Clare?"

"Don't ruin it by trying to analyze it," Clare smiled a shy smile, "Just enjoy it, whatever it is."

"Whatever it is," Eli smiled back.

Clare relaxed into her pillow, and Eli planted a kiss on top of her forehead, "Sweet dreams, beautiful."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: I am so sorry! We have two goldens within our family – one named Midas and one named Winston. I got mixed up, and I know that's not an excuse, but I am so sorry I called Midas Winston.**

**Also, words cannot express how much I love this chapter, and I hope y'all do too! :) **

Chapter Twelve

"I have to go to work; I can't just sit around and babysit you two," Adam chuckled, taking a sip of coffee from his mug, "So behave, and don't wreck the apartment. I'll be home about six."

"I'll keep an eye on him," Clare assured him.

"It's _both_ of you I am worried about. Behave yourselves. And you too, mutt," Adam scratched the dog behind the ears, "See you guys later."

He grabbed his keys off the counter, and headed out the garage door. Clare stood from the barstool at the kitchen counter, and poured Midas some dog kibble from the Tupperware she had brought with them.

"Good boy," she said, patting the dog as he scarfed down the food as if it were his last meal, "Good boy. Don't eat so fast. Geez."

"So, Clare," Eli grinned, running his finger along the rim of her coffee mug, "We have the house all to ourselves, and I believe I owe you a kiss or two," he raised an eyebrow, and Clare felt her legs wobble uncertainly underneath her. Being alone with Eli. Normally it would have been no big deal (she had, after all, been alone with him for the past few days) but this was different. After last night, everything was different. After that kiss, her world was different.

Clare felt her head float above her neck as she thought back to that kiss they had shared on the couch. She hadn't been kissed like that since…well, since they were together ten long years ago. Eli had taken her breath away in more ways than one, and even thinking about that kiss caused her head to cloud with fog, and small goose bumps to prickle along her flesh.

"Well, what do you propose we do?" Clare asked, leaning against the counter next to him.

Eli stared at her, knowing what he wanted to do; but what he _wanted _to do, and what he _could_ do were two different things entirely. Besides, ghosts/angels/whateverthefuck he was probably couldn't do what he wanted anyways. He felt as though his brain was swimming in murky water of thousands of emotions and thoughts.

"We could go over to the couch," Eli's right corner of his lips raised into a smirk, "And see what happens from there?"

"Okay," Clare slid past him and made her way to the living room. Her heart was beating frantically within her chest; and she was worried that, at any given moment, it would tear through her flesh and flop to the floor like a fish out of water. She swallowed those nerves that entangled the saliva in her throat, and sat down on the couch.

Eli slid next to her, "Well, here we are. On the couch."

"Oh do not go and make this awkward," Clare rolled her eyes.

"We are kind of forcing this, aren't we?" Eli asked, bashfully – as if he was aware that at that moment, it just wasn't right.

"Maybe a little," Clare laughed nervously, "We shouldn't force it, or make it awkward. It should just come naturally. We can't just…but then again, that dare kiss was a bit forced," Clare reminded him, "And you remember how that turned out."

"Yes, and I know I promised you that I'd make that kiss up to you today, but maybe today still isn't right either. You just called off your wedding, Clare. You're going through so much right now, and I don't want you to use whatever this is as a means of…"

"I'd never use you, Eli," Clare shook her head, hurt that he would even think that, "I get it. You are right, Eli. We shouldn't just kiss because we can, and because I am now single. We should kiss because we want to kiss. I want to kiss you, but I want to get my life in order first. I need to get through to my mother, and I…I," Clare started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked, instinctively wiping away her tears with his thumbs, "Shh…tell me what's on your mind, beautiful."

"I want to kiss you, Eli. Oh I want to kiss you so terribly much. I don't know why, or how, all of this is happening; but all I know is that I want you. You have treated me so much better in these past few days, than my ex ever did. You are right, Eli. You are so right."

"About what?"

"About how…how…never mind," Clare jumped up from the couch and hurriedly swiped at the tears, "I-I have to call my mother. I have to…I need to get through to her and tell her. Um…excuse me," Clare hurried into the bedroom and snatched her phone up off the nightstand. As she was about to dial the number, she noticed the eight missed calls on her phone. Eight. That's what she was worth to him. Eight missed calls.

It was weird to have a number placed on her worth, and Clare tossed the phone aside. She wished she could have just told Eli what she had wanted to tell him; but would he even believe her, or would he think she was just projecting. Clare felt dizzy and she sunk down on to the bed, and cradled her head within her palms.

Why couldn't she just tell him the truth? Why couldn't she just tell him that she was falling for him all over again, and that maybe – just maybe – she was supposed to be with Eli. Maybe he was her soulmate. The very concept frightened her. So much had happened in such little time, and Clare felt completely, inconsolably overwhelmed.

She finally picked the phone up off of the bed, and called her mother. On the fourth ring, she answered.

"Clare? Hello, honey!"

"Mom, I have something important to tell you. I don't want you to be angry but…well, I called off the wedding with James."

"You did what?"

"I called off the wedding, Mother," Clare could have told her all about finding out James' had been cheating on her; she could have, but she didn't, "Our hearts just didn't feel into it anymore. We talked for a while, and we both concluded that it just wasn't right for us. Mom, you should be glad we discovered this when we did…before it was too late," Clare tried to keep her voice from cracking.

"Honey…are you sure this was the wisest decision? I mean, if you were unhappy, I am glad that you ended it before you got in too deep. We can cancel the reservations, and I can talk to Darcy, but I just want to make sure this is what you want. I want you to be positive."

"I am."

"Very well then," Clare could practically see her mother's pursed lips and her nod, "Did he do anything to hurt you, Clare?"

"No Mom, he didn't."

"Is it another man?" Her mom asked again, "Be honest with me honey. I won't judge. If it's another man, then maybe that other man is supposed to be who you are with."

"Not really," Clare shook her head, "I just felt…I felt like I was making a mistake in going through with the marriage. I needed to end it before I shackled myself into a lifetime of unhappiness. Please understand."

"I do honey. I know you must be going through a lot right now. Why don't you just take some time and gather your things and figure out a place to live. You are always welcome here…"

"Adam is letting me stay with him, Mom. Just until I get everything sorted out. I want to go back to work, Mom."

"Good for you, honey. And don't worry – I will make the phone calls to the venue and the family. Don't worry about any of that, okay?"

"Thank you," Clare felt as though a huge weight had been lifted up and off her shoulders, "Thank you so much, Mom."

"Of course, honey. I have to go, but feel free to call me anytime. Maybe next weekend we can do lunch together – would you like that?"

"I'd love that. Thanks again, Mom."

After she hung up the phone, Clare crawled onto the bed, and covered up under the blankets. Having her mother make all the phone calls was a huge relief, but she still felt burdened by these feelings for Eli. She knew it was dangerous to be falling for him; especially when he was an angel – or a ghost. And to realize these feelings after discovering her fiancé was having an affair didn't exactly make it any better.

She flung the blankets over her head, and wished she could just disappear. It would be her luck to fall in love with her guardian angel. How could she, how would she, ever be able to explain that one to her family. Clare closed her eyes and tried to take some deep, calming breaths.

_I am falling in love with an angel. I am falling in love with an angel. I am falling in love with…what am I doing? I can't fall in love with an angel. I just can't. It's not possible. But, then again, it is Eli. Maybe I never was not in love with him? Maybe I always was in love with him and only now, I am realizing it. But still…this can't be happening. Why is this happening? Why am I falling in love with an angel?_

_ Because said angel is Elijah Noah Goldsworthy. That's why. Elijah Noah Goldsworthy. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel so loved and protected. He makes me feel more than I ever did with James. He – as obnoxious as he is – brings me so much joy. Joy. Something I haven't felt in a long time. It's like…when I am with him…my whole world is suddenly made right._

_ I was blind to it before, but now that he's in my life again, I realize how much I need him. How much I…how much I was missing out without him. I realize now that I…I love him._

Eli was sitting on the couch still when he felt it. It was like he had been struck with lightening. It was a powerful, painful, beautiful feeling. It was like an electric jolt. And with that pain – that sharp, hot pain – Eli realized he had felt. He had felt that pain, and because of that, the pain was beautiful. He stood from the couch and lifted his arms. He turned in a circle, and he breathed in air.

And in the middle of the beautiful pain, the voice said, "_Good job. You did it._"

Eli glanced around, "I did it?" He asked, "What do you mean I did it? I didn't do anything!"

"_But you did,_" the voice corrected him, "_She's in love with you, Eli. She always was, but now she's finally realized it again._"

"You mean she always was?" Eli was too excited to feel any sort of anger.

"_Yes. But she needed to realize it. She needed to realize that love, and that passion. She needed to realize that losing you was a mistake. You both needed to realize how desperately you two need one another. You needed to realize that you are soulmates, and one cannot fully live without the other._"

"You bastard," Eli laughed – a laugh that was filled with life and joy, sunsets, rainbows, the first cries of a newborn baby.

"_I've been called worse_," the voice chuckled, "_Thank you for doing my work, Eli._"

"But…but how do I explain this? My family, my friends, everyone thinks I am dead."

"_The joys of being God_," the voice laughed, "_Trust._"

"What did you do?" Eli asked, "What…"

_"Trust. One little word. And yet…it is so difficult for you humans to do._"

"I'll work on that," Eli promised.

"_I have to go for now. I will always be with you, and you can still hear my voice…but now you'll just have to work a little bit at it. Take care, Eli._"

"But…" Eli paused and glanced around the apartment again. Could it really be true? Could Clare still be in love with him, and he be human once again?

Eli ran towards the guest bedroom and knocked on the door, "Clare? Clare, are you alright?"

Clare groaned at having to dig herself out of her cocoon, but replied, "Yeah, I'm fine. Come in."

Eli flung the door open, and hopped onto the bed next to her, "Clare…Clare…you won't believe it if I told you! Guess what!"

"What? What happened?"

"Kiss me."

"What?" Clare was taken aback. She noticed that glint of light dance in his eyes, and she knew.

"Kiss me."

Clare didn't have to be told a third time. Together, they fell back against the pillows, and began to kiss. This kiss was, unbelievably, even better than the one they had shared yesterday. Eli thrust her lips apart with his tongue, and Clare accepted. Their tongues seemed to fight for power and dominance of the kiss. They wrestled together and entangled together. Eli grasped Clare's bottom lip between his teeth and sucked, causing her to – once again – moan. Clare knew where this was going, and when she had the chance, did the same. Eli felt his body explode with sensation, and it felt as though this was his first kiss all over again. But this time it wasn't awkward; unlike his first-ever kiss no lip piercings got tangled up in tongue piercings (yes, Eli Goldswothy had had his tongue pierced at a point in time).

He couldn't help himself, he let a moan escape his throat and Clare couldn't help but smile into the kiss at the reaction she had enticed from him. Eli flipped her over so that he was on top of her, but something stirred in Clare, and she flipped on top of him. Now, Eli was the one lying down, and Clare was straddling him.

She began to kiss his forehead – soft, delicate, feather-light kisses – then she kissed down his temples to his cheeks. She covered every inch of his face in those soft kisses, purposefully neglecting his lips. Eli's bottom lip quivered ever-so-slightly as she got so close to touching his lips with hers. He could practically feel their kiss that she was so cruelly withholding. Clare smirked and pulled her face away before moving to kiss down his jawline, down his neck. She paused when she reached his pulse point, before sucking and biting at the throbbing flesh.

She felt the blood course and pulse, confirming what she had already known to be true – Eli was alive again. He moaned as she lightly bit at the tender flesh; and he gripped the sheets in hysteric passion. Everything was so intense. It was as if he was feeling everything for the first time – and in a sense, he was. Clare smirked against his neck before devouring it some more.

Eli squirmed beneath her, biting his lip and griping the sheets within his fists. Clare loved the effect she had on him. She loved that she could drive him so crazy. She had lost her virginity to James when they were in college. It had been so dull, and so passionless. _This is making love_, Clare suddenly realized, _this is what this is what making love is._

It was as if they had so much built up tension; as if they had both wanted to tell each other for years how they felt about one another, and now they had been miraculously given the chance.

Eli was growing good-naturedly frustrated. She had had her fun, but now it was his turn. She had made him squirm and moan (something very un-Goldsworthy like), and now, it would be his turn to do the same to her.

He flipped her, and now he was straddling her. Clare's eyes widened in anticipation. Eli started at her neck. He didn't waste a second in completely devouring her neck in bites and pleasurably painful kisses. Clare moaned and gasped with each touch. Each touch of Eli's body against hers was like an electric shock. Each touch of Eli's body against hers was so natural, and so powerful.

Eli gripped a handful of Clare's auburn curls as he continued to trail kissed down to her collarbone. Clare's head rolled back as he traced along her collarbone with his tongue.

"It's not so nice to tease someone now then, is it, _Clare_?" Eli grinned wickedly.

"I hate you," Clare wined.

"You do not," Eli rolled his eyes, "You love me and I know it."

"Shut up," it was Clare's turn to roll her eyes. Suddenly, something clamored out in the living room, "What was that?"

"Guys you wouldn't believe who I ran into…guys? Anyone home?" Adam called, making his way down the hall.

Eli dropped his forehead to Clare's, and grinned against her lips as he said, "_Busted_!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Wait…were you two…" Adam looked from Clare, to Eli, then back to Clare. He had burst into the bedroom to find Clare sitting on the edge of the bed, fixing her hair by running her fingers through the tangles Eli had knotted; and Eli leaning against the wall across from the bed, uncomfortably shifting his weight and tugging at his skinny jeans. He was about to tell them his story, but began to put two and two together.

"Were we _what_?" Eli snapped his head up and glared at Adam, as if daring him to ask the question that was itching his mind. There _was_ such a thing called privacy.

"Wait…but you…and her…can you even…whatever," Adam rolled his eyes, "Eli, while I was out, I ran into your mom."

"_Cece_?" An expression Clare couldn't quite pinpoint crossed Eli's face; and he said, "How is she? Did she seem upset? Did you give her a hug for me? What did she say? How's Bullfrog?"

"Well…that's the thing. Uh," Adam's face fell, "She came up to me like nothing….like nothing was wrong. It was the weirdest thing. She talked about how good it was to see me, and how she wanted to have the two of us over for dinner at some point. It was like she didn't even know you were…you were dead. It was the weirdest thing. I just…I chalked it up to her having some sort of break, man. I am really sorry. I uh…I didn't know what to do, so I told her she could come by for dinner next week. I just…I couldn't. If this is some sort of psychotic slip or something…like some delusion she's created as a coping mechanism…I just couldn't be the one to…"

"My mom thinks I'm alive?" Eli's eyes swam with tears before he fell to his knees.

"Eli, are you okay?" Clare jumped up to go and crouch down next to him, "Eli?"

"I'm fine," he laughed, a huge broad smile on his face as tears rolled down his cheeks, "He said to trust him. He said to have faith. And I did. And he fixed everything. He fixed it all."

"What are you talking about?" Adam asked, as Clare rubbed Eli's hunched back with her fingernails, "Clare, what is he talking about?"

"Adam, look at him," Clare waved Adam over, and he knelt down next to Clare, in front of Eli, "Look at his eyes. Notice that spark. Adam, Eli…Eli is alive again!"

"What…but _how_?"

"All we had to do was realize that we were in love," Clare explained, "And God granted us this amazing second chance. I still can't believe…oh my God!"

The tears were rolling down his cheeks and splashing on to Clare's shoulder as she held him, permeating her sweater, "Is this real?" He laughed, still not quite believing that everything just somehow managed to fall into place.

"You two should invite her for dinner tomorrow night, and find out," Clare kissed his temple.

"What do you mean _you two_?" Eli smoothed the back of her hair down with his hand, "You're going to be here too. Cece _adores_ you. Hell, let's invite Bullfrog too. They'd love to see you again, Clare."

"Are you sure?" Clare blushed, "I've hurt you in the past…"

"Clare, you were always like a daughter to them. Besides, Adam and I can't cook worth a damn."

"Wonderful," Clare rolled her eyes good-naturedly, "Alright, I'll make dinner for everyone. Eli, why don't you go call your mom. I guess I have to run get groceries for tomorrow night."

"You don't mind, do you?" Adam winced, "I mean…we can always do pizza."

"Pizza gives Bullfrog gas," it was Eli's turn to wince.

"Say no more," Adam chuckled, "Clare, are you sure you're fine with cooking?"

"It's fine, don't worry. I am thinking lasagna with homemade garlic bread?"

"_Food_!" Eli's eyes lit up, "I can eat! Oh my God…if getting frisky with you felt so good…imagine food!"

"Thanks," Clare rolled her eyes.

"_Oh God_!" Adam gagged, "I don't need to hear these things."

"Well, _technically_," Clare reminded him, "You were about to ask when you walked in here."

"And this is my cue to leave now," Adam pushed himself up from the bedroom floor, "Before I hear any more about your hormonal escapades."

"_Hormonal_…"

"Eli, calm," Clare patted his back, "Call your parents, and I will go get the groceries for tomorrow."

* * *

After Clare and Adam left, Eli paced around the living room for a while. He still couldn't comprehend what was going on – everything was so much so fast. When he had first found out that he was a ghost and couldn't speak to his parents, all he wanted to do was see them, hold them, and tell him he loved them. Now, his heart felt as though it had stopped.

He knew that it had all been erased (thank God!) but at one point, he had died; and at one point, it had broken his mother's heart. He was her son – he was supposed to protect her, not hurt her. And because of his drinking...he couldn't even begin to imagine the kind of pain that he had inflicted on his parents. Eli's hands shook as he dialed the number for his parents' house phone. On the fourth ring, a cheery voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Cece? It's me. I'm at Adam's and he said he ran into you today?"

"Baby boy!" Cece exclaimed in a voice that drew tears to Eli's eyes; typically he'd get frustrated and angry at his mother for still calling him Baby boy after all these years. Never again, he vowed.

Eli smiled into the phone, feeling the damp tears spill onto his cheeks, "Yeah, Mom," _Mom_ – Eli reflected on that word for a bit before saying, "Adam said you'd like to do dinner? We were thinking you and Bullfrog could come over to Adam's place tomorrow night and we all have dinner together."

"Oh really? That sounds nice, Eli. Should I bring anything?"

"My girlfriend's got it covered," Eli grinned into the phone.

"_Girlfriend_? Who? Do I know her? When did you start dating again? What's her name?"

"You'll see tomorrow night," Eli smirked, knowing that that would drive his mother absolutely crazy.

"Way to be an ass, Baby," Eli could practically see his mother rolling her eyes on the other line, "Alright, fine. I suppose I will just tell my heart and my nerves to calm down until tomorrow night. Is she pretty? What does she like? How'd you meet?"

"Mom, breathe."

Cece laughed, "Oh alright. I won't pester you. I haven't heard from you in a while. How are you, honey? I worry about you, you know?"

Eli felt a huge pang of guilt jolt through him, as he sunk down onto the sofa, "Ma…I am…I am so sorry."

"For what, baby?"

"For worrying you," Eli raked a hand through his hair, "I was so stupid sometimes. But that's going to change now, Cece. I promise you. I am going to stop the drinking. This girl…she makes me realize that there's a reason to live. And I know it shouldn't take a girl to realize that but…"

"No, baby. Miracles work in all ways. Remind me to give this new girl of yours a big hug and a kiss tomorrow to thank her. If that won't freak her out too much."

"It'll be fine," Eli chuckled, "Hey uh…Mom…you know I love you and Bullfrog right?"

"Of course, Baby boy. How is that even a question? Your father and I have always, _and will always_, love you unconditionally. I gave birth to you. You tore through me and I had never been in worse pain. You sometimes screwed up, baby. But we always make mistakes. Sometimes you'd hurt me, and sometimes you'd screw up, and sometimes your father wanted to beat your ass, but we always saw the world in you, Eli. You are our son, but you've always been so much more to us than that. There's a reason we hate the whole 'Mom' and 'Dad' thing. You're our angel, Eli. You were given to us - a beautiful gift. Nothing you do will make you any less of a gift to us."

"Ma…" Eli felt the flush sting the tips of his ears.

"I am glad that you are going to stop the drinking. When you're happy, you are so full of life, so passionate. Keep holding on to that, Eli. Not everything is going to be perfect and happy and joyful. But please…don't lose that passion you have."

"I won't again," Eli promised, "Mom…I love you."

Something waivered in Cece's voice as she said, "I love you too, Baby boy."

Eli could hear a sniffle, and he knew she was crying – or at least trying to fight from doing so, "Come by tomorrow about six. Tell Bullfrog to be on his best behavior – no belching, no passing gas, no sex jokes, no…"

"Alright," Cece laughed, "But no promises. He's here if you want to talk to him."

"Oh," Eli hadn't really spoken to his father much since the drinking had really started to take over. He knew he had really ticked his father off one night when he had been drinking. Bullfrog had implied that Eli was a loser (he would never say it outloud) and Eli had, in turn, told him that he had been the one to teach him how.

Bullfrog had had a drinking problem when Eli was younger. When Eli had gotten into the fourth grade, Bullfrog finally decided to get help; but by then Eli had been witness to his father's drunken stupors and those memories couldn't just be erased. AA meetings, therapies, the apologies…Eli tried to forgive Bullfrog. And he had, but the memories were still there.

When he started drinking himself, and when Bullfrog tried so hard to talk some sense into him, Eli lashed out and said the most hateful things to him. How could Bullfrog possibly forgive him for that, much less want to talk to him? Again, Eli ran a hand through his hair and tried to keep his right leg from shaking up and down with nerves.

"I don't think he wants to talk to me much."

"Are you kidding?" Cece laughed, "He's practically trying to grab the phone from my hands."

Eli swallowed the lump accumulating in his throat, and mustered up all the courage he could in order to say, "Alright, put him on."

There was some static as the phone passed between hands, then Eli heard his father say, "How are you, Elijah?"

"_Elijah_?" Eli gagged, always having hated his full name, "I guess I deserve that. Bullfrog…I am so sorry for being an ass. My drinking…it was out of control, and you…you were just trying to help me. I shouldn't have said what I did. It was so…_awful_ of me to say those things to you. Please, Dad…please can you ever forgive me for being the biggest assholes in the history of assholes?"

There was something that resembled a chuckle from the other end of the phone, "Kid, I think Hitler may hold that title; but I am pretty sure you could arm wrestle him for it."

"Dad…"

"Don't play the 'Dad' card, Eli."

"Don't play the '_Elijah_' card, _Bullfrog_."

"Fair enough. So, answer my question: how are you?"

"I'm _really_ good, Bullfrog. For the first time in a long time, I finally am happy again. I'm doing good, real good. I have a uh…I have a new girlfriend."

"No way!" Bullfrog's voice peaked with interest, "Who is she?"

"Not telling – you'll find out tomorrow when you come over to Adam's place for dinner. If you can behave yourself. That means…"

"No belching, no passing gas, no sex jokes…kid, you've been giving me the same damn lecture for years and you should know by now that I never listen to you."

"A chance I'll have to take. I think you'll like her."

"Of course I will. There's something back in your voice that I haven't heard in too long. I am going to chalk that up to being on account of her?"

"Yeah," Eli nodded, "It is."

"Then she's a fuckin' guardian angel. Don't let her go, kid."

"Language!" Eli could hear Cece hiss in the background, "God damn it, Bullfrog!"

"You're sure one to talk!"

"Bullfrog, Cece, don't make me come over there," Eli laughed, good-naturedly.

"I could _so_ take you," Bullfrog chuckled into the phone, "And you know it."

"I'd like to see you try, Old Man."

"_Old man_?" Bullfrog scoffed, "Who are you calling an old man?"

"The guy with the walker and dentures who thinks he can somehow take me?"

"I do not have a walker or dentures."

"You drink prune juice."

"The doctor said it's good for my colon!"

"My point exactly," Eli's chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh, "I'll see you guys tomorrow, alright?"

"Sounds good. Hey kid?"

"Yeah, Bullfrog?"

"I love you."

"Love you too…old man!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: I am so sorry I got caught up with other stories and let this one fall through the cracks. Please forgive me for that. I love this story and hate that it's been abandoned. Not any more though!**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

"Taste this," Clare shoved a spoonful of hot, bubbling lasagna into Adam's mouth.

"Hot!' Adam fanned his mouth, "But…_damn_, Clare. That's delicious!"

Clare blushed and deposited the spoon into the sink, "Thank you. Um…how do I look? I can't believe I am going to see Cece and Bullfrog again. I just hope I look alright…"

"Clare, you're fine," Adam rolled his eyes, "Chill. Geez. You're worse than Eli."

"How is he?" Clare winced, untying the apron from around her waist and laying it over the handle of the oven, "Still barricaded in the guest room pacing?"

"Yup," Adam rolled his eyes, "But I guess it is understandable. He and his parents haven't really been close since…since his drinking started getting worse. There were a lot of fights between them, I know that much."

"Yikes," Clare winced, "Help me set the table please?"

"Sure."

After the table was all set, Clare decided to go check on Eli. He had been locked in his room for the past two hours. It worried her how worried he was about seeing them again. She rapped on the door with her knuckle.

"Eli, it's just me."

"Clare?"

"No, the Easter Bunny. Open the door, Eli."

There was some rattling around, and finally the door cracked open. Clare opened it further to find Eli pacing back and forth across the bedroom, running a hand through his hair.

"Eli," Clare put a hand on his shoulder, "It'll be alright. You talked to them on the phone yesterday and you said everything seemed okay between you guys."

"It did," Eli sunk down onto the bed, "But…I just can't. I don't know, Clare. I hurt them so much."

"We all hurt the ones we love sometimes," Clare squeezed his knee lovingly, "But that's the thing about loved ones…they always manage to forgive us somehow."

Eli smiled up at her as he grabbed a curl between his fingers and twisted it, "You're a miracle, you know that. You're my miracle."

"Aw, I don't think I really did much…"

"You brought me back to life," Eli nuzzled her neck with his nose, "How can I ever say thank you?"

"By being in my life again. Don't…don't leave again, Eli. Please. I couldn't bear to lose you again. Please…stay with me this time."

"I don't think that'll be much of a problem," Eli smirked that classic smirk of his that still managed to give Clare goose bumps, "What kind of fiancé would I be if I were to leave again?"

"Wait…_what_?" Clare's eyes widened into saucers. Eli smirked again and raised an eyebrow as if to say: _you heard me, Edwards._

"Guys, stop sucking face and get out here!" Adam called from the hallway, "They're here!"

Eli winced and rolled his eyes before hollering back, "Subtle, Adam. _Real_ subtle."

He held out a hand and helped Clare up off the bed before they headed out to the front part of the house.

"Where are they?" Eli asked, glancing around the vacant living room.

"On the porch. They rang the doorbell."

"_You didn't let them in_?"

"I thought you should," Adam shrugged.

"God, your social skills are severely lacking," Eli rolled his eyes before adjusting his hair and making his way to the door. Taking a deep breath, he swung it open to be greeted by a huge hug.

"Baby boy!"

"Hey, Mom," Eli hugged her back, treasuring the sound of her voice and her touch – all of which were things he had thought to be long gone from his life, "I've missed you."

"We've missed you too," Cece let go of Eli and he turned and solemnly faced his dad.

"Bullfrog…"

"Come here," Bullfrog pulled Eli into a bear hug, "Now introduce to me to that girl of yours…" Bullfrog's eyes fell on Clare. Cece was staring at her too, with a hand resting on her lips.

"_Baby girl_…" her voice was a fragment of a whisper.

"Hi, Cece," Clare gave a soft wave, "It's good to see you again."

"_It's good to see you again_," Bullfrog snorted, "Listen to her! Clare-Bear, get over here, girl!" Bullfrog yanked her into a huge hug, "I should have known it was you. The way Eli talked…only one girl in the whole world can bring such joy to him."

"Baby girl," Cece hugged Clare, "I've missed you. It's so good to see you again. Just as beautiful as you were all those years ago. Isn't she, baby?"

"_Cece_," Eli blushed.

"And _still_ making him blush! Good girl," Bullfrog nudged her with an elbow.

"I made homemade lasagna and garlic bread," Clare said, not really knowing what else to say. She was surprised she could even form the words – she was beaming so much her cheeks hurt, "I figured we could all have a nice dinner together."

"Sounds wonderful, Clare," Bullfrog grinned down at her.

"Everyone, go into the dining room and I'll bring the food out."

"Ow!" Eli turned and glared at Bullfrog who had just thumped him on the back of the head, "What the hell was that for?"

"Go help her in the kitchen," Bullfrog raised an eyebrow.

"Could you have said that without giving me brain damage?" Eli glared at his dad.

"Nope," Bullfrog grinned, pleased with himself.

Eli followed Clare into the kitchen and helped her pull the food out of the oven where it had been keeping warm.

"Eli," Clare turned to him, a dish of lasagna in her hand, "About what you said earlier…in the guest room…"

"Yeah?" Eli raised an eyebrow.

"Did you say what I think you said?"

Eli smirked, "Edwards, you're not deaf. I think you heard me just fine."

"Eli…"

"I don't want to lose you again, Blue Eyes. You saved my life. You literally brought me back to life, Clare – in more ways than one. Because of you, I am alive again. Because of you, I am never going to drink again. You saved me, Edwards. You…you always save me."

Clare blushed as Eli placed a gentle hand on her nape of her neck, "Eli, I don't know what to say…"

"Well a 'yes' would be appropriate."

Clare couldn't help but laugh, "Yes, Eli. Yes, a thousand times, yes!"

"I'm hungry!" Bullfrog shouted from the dining room, "Stop mackin' and get in here with the food."

Eli rolled his eyes, "I swear, between him and Adam, it's a wonder I still have what's left of my sanity."

He helped Clare carry in the dishes and everyone enjoyed the hot meal she had spent all day preparing. Clare couldn't help but smile as she listened to the conversation and the laughter. It felt like family. It was family. Her family.

Bullfrog and Adam had a belching conversation, Cece commented on how she and Clare needed to do lunch sometime and catch up, Eli and Bullfrog threw bits of garlic bread at each other from across the table, and then there was the marinara sauce incident.

Clare was sitting in between Adam and Eli when they caught each other's eye from over the top of her head. She knew they were up to something, but decided not to dwell on it too much.

"Hey, Clare," Eli called her attention, and as she turned and stared at him, Adam smeared marinara sauce on her cheek.

"_Adam_," she squealed, "_Eli_! Both of you…"

"It's not a proper dinner unless someone winds up with sauce on their face," Bullfrog grinned and did the same thing to Cece.

"Oh, you're just asking to sleep on the couch tonight, aren't you?"

After dinner and dessert, everyone hugged and said goodnight. Before they left, Bullfrog pulled Eli to the side and said –

"I'm happy for you, kid. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, Bullfrog. I really think I am going to be okay."

"Of course you are. You've got that girl of yours back in your life. You're going to be just fine. Don't screw this up, Eli. If you screw this up, don't doubt that in my 'old age' I still can't and won't kick your ass."

"So you admit you're old?" Eli raised an eyebrow.

"You're asking for it."

"Asking for what, old man?"

Bullfrog pulled Eli into a headlock and gave him a noogie.

"Bullfrog," Cece pulled her husband off of her son, "I swear. It's like you're fourteen."

"I _am_ fourteen."

"No, you're _impossible_. That's what you are," Cece shook her head lovingly, "It was wonderful to see you again, Clare. We are definitely doing lunch next week. And Adam, it's always good to see you again too."

"Drive safe," Adam waved as Cece headed out the door.

"Bye," Eli waved to his dad.

"Be good," Bullfrog pointed a finger at his son, "Got it?"

"Bullfrog, I'll be fine," Eli promised.

"Good. Because if you break your old man's heart like that…"

"I know," Eli nodded, "Don't worry. Drive safe."

After they left, Clare, Eli, and Adam decided they would do the dishes together. After about an hour, the dishes were done and they were all drenched from a soap and water fight.

"You know," Adam said, handing Clare a plate to dry, "I am going to miss you two."

"Where are going?" Eli's brow furrowed.

"Well…you still have your old place. I figured you two would move…"

"And not be able to drive you crazy by doing things like this?" Eli grabbed Clare and dipped her into a huge kiss.

"Oh my God," Adam rolled his eyes, "Sick. You guys make me sick!"

"Yeah, I don't think so. We're staying right here – if that's alright with you?" He turned to Clare.

"It's fine with me," Clare smiled and set the plate on the counter, "I know its cheesy, but I love this – all of us together again. It's nice."

"It is," Adam nodded, "Like…no time has really passed."

"And I don't have to save your ass from the school bullies," Eli grinned.

"Oh, one time Eli. One time," Adam wagged a finger at him.

"More than that if I remember correctly," Eli smirked, "But Blue Eyes has a point. This is nice. I am sorry. I am sorry for fucking everything up. I am sorry for ruining what we all used to have…"

"Shut up," Adam tossed a dish towel at him, "It's fine now, and that's all that matters."

After finishing the dishes, Clare and Eli retired to the guest bedroom. After they were both snuggled in bed, Clare laid her head upon Eli's chest.

"I love you," she said, her voice a soft whisper.

"I love you to, Clare. You're my savior."

Clare snuggled closer to him, "Eli…I don't know what I'd do without you. You saved me too. You saved me from making a huge mistake in marrying that…that man. I don't even know what to call him. You saved me too."

"We save each other," Eli kissed her chastely, "You brought me back to life. You gave me life again, Clare. You're my miracle. I love you. I love you so much."

* * *

**Author's Note: I am not too happy with the ending, but I do still love this story very much. Thank you all for all of your support and wonderful reviews. I wish I could have given you guys a better ending though. Hope you all are doing well and will continue to read my other stories. You are truly the best. I appreciate each and every one of you! **


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